How To Keep The Spark Alive In a Relationship

UpJourney’s Article Written by The Editors, How to Keep the Spark Alive in a Relationship (60+ Exciting Ways) features contributions from Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating (Visit UpJourney to view the full article)

A relationship can start in a whirlwind of excitement and euphoria but suddenly fade without a single spark left behind. 

It can be challenging to always feel the spark between you and your partner, especially if you have been together a long time and have yet to place effort into rekindling that spark. It is a cohesive effort from both partners to bring back or maintain that fiery connection you felt and drew you together initially. 

Here are my three tips to rekindle that spark with your partner:

• Discuss what drew you together initially

• Prioritize communication

• Do something playful

Talk about what drew you together initially over a romantic dinner date

When wanting to reignite that spark, it’s essential to slow down and bring back focus to romance. Share one and others’ company over a romantic dinner date curated to highlight shared feelings of love and connection you built your relationship on.

Prioritize communication through a shared activity 

Getting that spark back in a relationship takes consistent effort; it does not happen “eventually.” It mandates direct communication between partners. 

Spend quality time with your partner doing something it does not need to be extravagant or some unwanted task, do an activity together, kayak or go hiking, or do something as simple as a walk around the block. Create an environment to communicate openly by sharing a joint activity.

Do something playful to nurture your inner child

Be carefree and have a relaxed headspace where you’re not thinking so hard. Do something playful or goofy, like a theme or amusement park, trampoline park, paint, or ceramic classes. 

Nurture your inner child together! If you want things to be exciting again in your relationship, then get excited about something together.

Linx Dating Client Testimonials

Linx Dating is approaching our 20th year in the business of being Cupid. We connect clients each and every day with prospective partners based on similar values, passions, and interests - the Linx method to matchmaking continues to result in countless relationships and marriages. We take pride in sharing what our clients have to say about Linx and why Amy Andersen’s approach to matchmaking elevates the industry to a whole new level. Read on to hear what our clients have to say about Linx and the process!

A 50-something Male located in San Carlos, CA

“Amy is great. Terrific listener with superb insights. Good at offering advice and knowing when just a little constructive coaching can make a big difference.  

She carefully selects folks for you to meet and they are uniformly impressive (even if not always a romantic match).  You will not have the situation we have all had with apps when you know in mere moments of meeting someone that the meeting is a waste of time.  Not with Amy.... each intro leads to time well spent chatting with somebody polished and interesting.  

Clearly this is not a volume-based business for Amy. She is hands-on and there appears to be no delegation... not even an admin to field routine emails.  But she is still responsive.  She takes her time and thinks things through personally.  

Amy is the total opposite of apps and the endless waste of time they represent. Not cheap, but you get what you pay for.”

A 40-something Male located in Mountain View, CA 

“There are so many matchmakers out there.  I know as many of them to reach out to me and want me to be part of their network, etc.  The pitch is generally the same, the execution is the same, etc, etc.  Some of these services work in volume (think Tawkify) and others are truly bespoke.  Most are really there to sell a dream to people as priority one and deliver results as priority two.  

Amy is different.  

Amy has a large barrier to work with her (which is a good thing).  This barrier is a very exhaustive questionnaire, an in-person interview, continued follow-up on status, and taking the entire process seriously.  This weeds out the lurkers and the individuals that do not take the service seriously.  It also weeds out those who don't know what they're looking for.  

While the terms of my agreement with Amy are confidential, I will tell you that Amy is worth every penny you invest in her services.  

She combines one of the most extensive networks of anyone I know, the uncanny ability to find the right match, and a sincere dedication to the art and science of top-level matchmaking.  

She is a master businesswoman and knows how to break down barriers to truly find the needles in a haystack.  She doesn't expect her clients to settle to match what she can find, she excels to find partners that match the expectations of her clients...and her clients are of the pickiest, most discerning, and high profile of the bunch.  She just delivers.  

Other matchmakers, in my experience, don't match the punctual follow-up and service that Amy provides.  While she works with many, she has made me, one of her clients, feel as though I am top priority.  I am able to communicate by text, phone, or email.  All of these are fine by Amy.  

In summary, if you want the best, don't waste your time with others, go to Amy.  I am writing this because I truly think she is of the few out there that goes above and beyond to be a true "cupid" and she succeeds because of the aforementioned.”

50-something Female located in Larkspur, CA

“Amy Andersen, founder of the Bay Area's premiere bespoke matchmaking venture Linx, is a true treasure in this potentially exploitative field. Her reputation is sterling, her intuition is spot-on, her network is extensive, and her success rate is unparalleled. Do your research and you will likely come to the same conclusion as I did: Linx is the go-to company for discreet high-end matchmaking services in Northern California.

Before I had the pleasure of meeting Amy IRL, I had several months of correspondence with her. From our very first exchange, Amy was incredibly warm, authentic and genuinely passionate about her desire to help people meet the love of their lives. Even after nearly 2 decades in this ultra-competitive business (longevity is extremely rare in this particular niche), she continues to have an incredible level of enthusiasm for her work. I was scheduled to meet with Amy for 90 minutes but we were having such fun in her little "secret garden" that nearly three hours flew by before we parted ways!! As nervous as I was for this all-important, vis-à-vis first meeting, I ended up having a delightful afternoon drinking herbal tea, sharing stories/life dreams, and of course, being girlie girls, plenty of giggles! Read the other reviews and the common element you'll see is that EVERYONE ADORES AMY!!! She is fully present and engaged in learning as much as she can about her clients... necessary intake info so she knows exactly which spell to cast! I'm convinced successful matchmaking is equal parts intuition, attention to detail,  and magic!!

But beyond the personality, Amy is the very definition of a consummate professional: she is meticulous in her vetting process, highly organized and prepared for all events/interactions, responsive not only to her high-end clientele but to anyone who inquires about her services. Even individuals who are not a good fit for her model are treated with dignity and are often directed to other resources/services that are better aligned with their needs. I know this personally from friends who have reached out to her over the years. Amy understands her ultimate success is not strictly defined by the number of clients in her data base, but in being benevolent to all who seek her expertise.

If you are reading this, most likely you are seeking a serious relationship. Remember the immortal words of David Viscott, ‘To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.’ If you are exhausted weeding through all of the dishonest posers online and are ready to invest in finding your life partner, Linx may very well be the service you need. You will at the very least become a fan of Amy Andersen, guaranteed.”

60-something Female located in Saratoga, CA

“This review is long overdue. I was searching for a personalized local matchmaker for a dear friend of mine. I found Linx and did an intro call with the founder Amy Andersen. She was wonderful, very personable, and made me feel comfortable from day one. I was very happy to introduce my single friend to Amy. Amy suggested meeting my friend for coffee a couple of times to ensure he was on board and making the right decision.

Since he signed up, I can tell you he's had an excellent experience. While the first few introductions did not lead to "the one", he is now in a happy, committed relationship with a smart and kind, beautiful lady who is good to him. Importantly, they have a lot of fun together!

The value add with Linx is that it provides a very personalized, professional approach for those who are either too private for dating apps and/or looking for someone spectacular.

Linx cherry picks its member ensuring everyone is commitment-minded and serious about finding true, authentic love. It's great for busy executives/business owners who lead full lives and aren't inclined to swipe all day to find the right match.

Although the service is not cheap, I am a believer that you get what you pay for.”

That Certain Someone

Getting back into the dating game? Silicon Valley’s undisputed Cupid, Amy Andersen, discusses the baseline for making a real love connection.

By Michael McCarthy, Modern Luxury’s Silicon Valley Magazine, July 2022

Photo by Annie Barnett

Amy Andersen is a big believer in total honesty. It’s a job requirement. As the founder of Linx Dating (linxdating.com, amy@ linxdating.com), she’s the linchpin for countless love matches in Silicon Valley. “It’s very healthy to do an honest assessment of oneself and take the necessary action to make room for finding a great partner,” she says about the self-candor she preaches with clients. As we gear up for summer and perhaps begin a new love-life chapter, Andersen offers some advice about finding those who make our lives complete, heart and soul. 

Dating is tricky. There’s physical chemistry, of course, but how do people build on non-physical chemistry to create stronger relationships? 

Focus on the emotional and intellectual [parts of a relationship]. This will come from engaging around shared experiences and anything you both love to do—whether that’s watching a movie or TV show together, live sports or music, walking or hiking, a meal out or at home, travel or reading. I think humor, in particular, is powerful. It lightens the mood and is, in some ways, the greatest example of empathy when you can share a laugh. All of these things can lead to increased and better communication, enjoyment, comfort, and vulnerability—and a deeper connection. I also recommend studying The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It can give you tremendous insight on what a partner most appreciates, whether that’s gifts, words of affirmation, touch, time spent together or acts of service. 

The most successful people learn to evolve emotionally, intellectually and socially. How do we assess ourselves in relation to the dating game?

I suggest clients take the opportunity to focus on themselves; if they’re in a good place, they’ll attract others who are in a good place. They should take stock of their physical and mental health—what could improve? How can they eliminate any unnecessary negativity and toxic stress from their lives? Remember, all of this starts from being in a healthy place in your life, putting in the hard work, and then inviting that person in at the right time.   This can be anything from fitness, nutrition and sleep. The older I get, the more I work to remove any negativity in my life. I don’t hang around toxic people or gossipy types and do a lot to keep myself balanced emotionally, mentally and physically. Keeping an open mind is critical. If people are in a good place and are open to new experiences, they will be receptive to new ways to connect with a partner. One piece of simple advice is never to refuse an invitation to a party, event or perhaps a friend’s dinner gathering. Always say yes. You never know who you’ll meet. By saying yes instead of no, you’re putting yourself out there, expanding your social network and opening up new opportunities and conversations. I’m all about diversification of one’s routine and creating optionality. 

What about clients who are trying to remake themselves as they enter the dating world? 

I see this more often when someone is going through a divorce or breakup and wants to feel empowered and look gorgeous from the inside and out. That said, I see some younger clients definitely getting regular Botox to ease crows feet and lines on the forehead. No matter where we go in the world, across cultures, there’s always going to be a perceived value in youthfulness. For some clients who want to have a refreshed appearance, it can be as simple as a visit to a medspa for a consultation— someone like Dr. Stephen Ronan of Blackhawk Plastic Surgery + MedSpa (blackhawkplasticsurgery.com)—for injectables like Botox or fi ller, or learning how a cuttingedge laser treatment can help resurface the face and neck. And, yes, hair transplantation for guys too. Noninvasive procedures like Coolsculpting also are incredible to help smooth stubborn parts of the body and boost confi dence in so many ways.

Is it me, or is summer dating easier because of the endless options for fun? 

You are not wrong. We are particularly blessed in the Bay Area with so many beautiful attractions and great music, food and wine. I always tell my clients that their dates— especially in the early stages—should be light, easy and breezy. Stay away from heavy topics and grilling your date like it’s an interrogation. Make the dates fun, and go flirt. Most importantly, give your date a chance. Remember, a lot of people come into first dates with nerves and, therefore, it’s really important to go out two or three times and then decide if it makes sense to keep exploring or graciously close the loop and move on.