The Matchmaking Midas Touch

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Over the past 20 years, Linx has positioned itself as the top global matchmaking firm by refusing to settle for anything less than unparalleled excellence. Amy Andersen founded the company with the mission to give high-caliber individuals a more private, premium, and high-yield alternative to dating on their own.

Linx prides itself on its stellar reputation… its membership has been built organically over 20 years by word-of-mouth recommendations and has grown into one of the most sought-after private networks of vetted single men and women in the world.

Locally, in Silicon Valley, Linx represents clients at tech companies including Apple, Meta, Amazon, Google, Netflix and recognizable venture capital firms such as Andreessen Horowitz, to name just a few. Linx Dating also represents select founders & CEOs, celebrities, prominent public figures, and members of high profile domestic and international families.

Linx’s matchmaking is tailor-made for people who have worked on themselves, are ready to make a long-term commitment and are clear on what they seek in a partner.  They are ready to jump two feet into the process and find it appealing that Linx is niche and works with only a select number of clients annually. If we were to drill down on the core “niche” of Linx, it would be elite, high-net-worth clientele, and other highly educated professionals who are commitment-minded. 

Our clientele demand privacy and discretion and recognize time as one of their most precious commodities.  This means that swiping on an app to find “the one” becomes arguably less appealing.

Matchmaker FAQs

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

As a professional Matchmaker, you regularly get questions that few other jobs would prompt. Since the nature of matchmaking involves closer relationships and an understanding of a client's EQ, the day-to-day for a matchmaker will often look different than a standard office job. To celebrate National Matchmaker Day (August 31st), I have outlined the most commonly asked questions I receive as a Matchmaker and CEO of Linx Dating.

1. Have you always set people up? 

I wasn’t one of those ones who was always setting people up but I have always loved people.  I saw a great opportunity and went for it. Frankly, when I saw the opportunity in front of me, I could not believe no one had done it before.

2. How did you get into the field? 

I saw a market opportunity (demand) that was consistent with my existing network (supply) and I built from there. I have also always been a people person so it was a natural fit to go into matchmaking as I work with an incredibly diverse group of clients. 

3. What’s the hardest thing about being a matchmaker? 

This is a very emotional business - so rewarding, at times, but also high pressure as people are depending on me. Someone who hasn’t been married and who wants a baby is a high pressure situation for me. This is also a service business which means that I can also get treated very poorly sometimes, which stinks. 

4. What’s a typical day look like for a matchmaker? 

I start my morning with a giant cup of hot coffee and make my son breakfast! After school drop off, I get on my email. If there are so many emails, it’s already stressing me out, it’s a good reason to go for a walk or a run. On my walks, I always catch up with clients. On my runs, I crank all sorts of music from Guns N Roses,  Dua Lipa, Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber, Crash Test Dummies, Motley Crue, Chaka Khan, or Michael Jackson. Literally, my musical tastes are all across the board, LOL. I get home, prep a to go salad for the office, get ready. I always do myself up even if I am not meeting a client because when I put make-up on and wear something nice, I feel better no matter what. I head to the office, respond to emails ad then either do an in-person meeting with a client, or prospect, or meet on Zoom. I spend my afternoons working on match ideas for clients and often checking in with people in my database to see if they are presently single and good candidates for my clients. Come 5pm, I am heading home to prep dinner and spend quality time with my family. After my son is in bed, it’s work time again till 10pm or so. Normally I then take a bath to unwind, watch a show, and go to bed myself!

5. Do matchmakers use astrology? 

Not really….I certainly do not. It’s fun to talk about but we’d better be using more than that if we want any kind of competitive edge.

6. Are some matchmakers generational matchmakers? 

Sure. There are examples of this, just like there are in other family  businesses. It can be as informal as shared dinner table talk over many years, or as formal as a child taking over the family business.

7. Are there niche specialty matchmakers? 

Yep. It’s s function of market supply and demand.   A matchmaker is only as good as his or her network, and that could be a niche - geographic, religious, ethnic, age, or whatever. I’d say the most common two niches would be matchmaking, focusing on a particular faith or heritage. 

For instance, there are many matchmakers focusing solely on Jewish matches or matchmakers focusing solely on Indian matchmaking. I’ve been binging on Netflix’s Indian Matchmaker with “Sima from Mumbai.” 

8. What’s the craziest thing anyone has ever told you they want in a match? 

One of my former clients shared his musts include “all-natural body parts,” “love celebrating New Year’s Eve,” and “be okay with a shower with two heads on opposite walls.” On a sweeter note, he expected his dream girl to be “really close with at least one family member” (his own relationship with his two sisters is “one of my biggest areas of happiness,” he writes) and “be someone who constantly says ‘I believe in you’ to their children.” But she also has to “allow me to indulge in a luxury sports car filled with premium gasoline.” 

Just Breathe… How to Calm Down before a Date

Image by Freepik

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

First dates can be riddled with a barrage of emotions and what feels like a surge of adrenaline pumping through your body. Many men and women suffer from jitters in the early stages of dating and these emotions are normal - you’re a human after all and it would be a bit odd if you weren’t experiencing some of that.

One of the best ways to combat these nerves is first to get into the right positive mindset. Here are some of my recommendations for getting there.

1. "Meeting a Friend"

I like to tell clients to visualize that they are meeting a friend. Friends generally make us feel good about ourselves.

Side note, if you have a friend who doesn’t bring levity to your life, perhaps its time to re-evaluate your friendships - but I digress.

When in the “meeting a friend” mindset, those pesky nerves that can interfere with pre-date and during the date emotions will begin to subside. The wet palms, increased heart rate, the WTF am I doing will take a dip.

Start this visualization the minute you have a firm plan. So if your date is on Friday and it’s Monday, it’s the right time to begin. A few minutes of daily visualizations where you remind yourself this is not a big deal, you’re meeting a new friend and it’s always fun to have new friends. Rinse and repeat a couple of minutes in the mornings and evenings leading up to the actual date. I’d apply a very similar practice to interviewing for a job as well. "I know this space inside and out, they need me more than I need them, I got this, I own this, fuck yeah."

2. “Taking Care of Yourself"

Now that you’re rockin’ your positive mindset, think about anything that makes you relax. What do you do after a stressful day?

What are your coping mechanisms that are healthy outlets? A peaceful stroll in the park? Yoga? A bubble bath, a steam or sauna with dim lighting and candles and Enya playing? Why not? Some Metallica streaming through your AirPods running, pumping iron, banging out push-ups and mountain climbers? You’ve got this. Whatever your jam is, these are great ways to have stress outlets leading up to the date.

3. “Best Foot Forward"

Now that you are doing your daily visualizations and ideally bringing relaxation to your body each day, I want you now to figure out the outfit you’ll be wearing. Although you’re meeting a new friend, I want you feeling really good about yourself. Going out to the newest sushi spot in town and cocktails at that swanky bar after, find something in your closet that makes you feel alive and sexy as hell. If you’re a female, men like color. It’s funny, they’re just like a hummingbird and respond well to color.

If you’re guy reading this, wouldn’t it be so nice to pick out a crisp dress shirt with a hint of color, a beautiful belt and dark denim. Did you know women tend to look at guys shoes first? Yep, it’s true.

So if you have your ensemble picked out, I want you to hang it up on your closet door or somewhere you can see it everyday leading up to your date. Visualize how pretty you’re going to look in your red dress and heels with your soft, incredibly sensual-to-the-touch cashmere wrap. Or how studly you’re going to feel in your freshly pressed dress shirt and those pricy suede loafers you purchased after a boozy lunch with your best friend that afternoon.

Look at it, visualize it, and get into the mindset of feeling and looking really good. You got this.

The days leading up to your date, you’re getting good sleep, limiting the booze, and curbing insane amounts of caffeine... Again, this is all the same stuff I would do if I were going on a job interview and I wanted to ace it. Mindset, action, controlling environment, and treating the body like a temple!

Day of the date, listen to your favorite song when getting ready, splash your perfume/cologne on and it’s show time.

Put that outfit on and feel golden. You are amazing and are going to have a great evening! Make sure to leave plenty of time to get to the location so you don’t stress about traffic or parking.

And when you’re there, remember, just breathe, you’re meeting a friend after all….

Am I Ready to Get Back in the Game?

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By Dani Geary for Linx Dating

Are you thinking about dating again and questioning if you are ready to get back in the game?

Starting to date again and get back out there after a significant hiatus, for any reason, can be overwhelming and might even feel surreal. 

Instead of succumbing to the stress, use this guide to take it one step at a time and break the whole dating process into smaller components. Use the following recommendations to help you think about whether you are ready for a relationship and how you might navigate dating again. 

1. Take Personal Accountability 

You must take personal accountability with respect to your role in speaking openly with a potential romantic partner for healthy communication to be the standard in any romantic relationship. 

Your feelings or thoughts of dissatisfaction, anger, or annoyance with a potential romantic partner should not be ignored, nor should they be brought forward with a negative or hostile undertone. As a part of a pair, you share the responsibility to communicate your feelings - but, how you share will ultimately inhibit, or allow growth in, your relationship.

2. Notice Your Mindset 

Being aware of your current headspace involves internal reflection. Comparing your new dating experiences to previous relationships, having unrealistic partner expectations, and being unsure of what you want are all preventable setbacks you can avoid to have greater success when dating.

Comparing new opportunities to previous relationships, taken to the extreme, is not a productive tactic but an unfortunately easy habit to slip into. When it comes to dating, framing a new relationship in the context of old ones can close your mind to new experiences that could be different and maybe even better in new ways you had not considered. To avoid unhelpful comparisons, there should be a clear separation between your past relationships and your exploration of new relationships that only YOU can make. 

Having expectations for a partner is necessary, but should be tempered. Having an open and mutual dialogue with a potential romantic partner about each of your needs is essential for a shared understanding.  That said, a romantic partner should be caring, supportive, and kind but likely will not be a magical problem solver or mind reader. Expecting a potential romantic partner to remedy or solve all of your problems in their entirety is unrealistic and can place undue and unreasonable stress on a relationship.  At the end of the day, your personal problems are ultimately your problems to understand and communicate.

Another common setback to avoid when it comes to your mindset is seeking a romantic partner just for the heck of it. Seeking out the right person is critical!  Before you invest a ton of cycles, ask yourself, are you considering how that person fits into your longer term life goals and not simply how they could evolve to fit a small piece of what you are looking for and thus leave you frustrated… which now leads us to setting goals!

3. Set Goals 

To succeed in dating, you need to set some benchmarks and attainable goals while still letting relationships evolve naturally. Per the mindset section above, maybe ask yourself what are you looking for in your future partner? Do they prioritize family? Do they travel often? Do they live an active lifestyle? What are their thoughts on work and money? What are their love languages?  These are just some ideas.  But you need to take the time to think about what really matters to you and what you need in a partner… It’s not that every potential candidate needs to check every box, but it helps to have a rough framework in your mind as you date, so that you don’t waste your time or anyone else’s.

4. Embrace the Journey

Dating is a process - there is no universal approach to what will fit your needs. While not every date will be a perfect match, they will each offer an opportunity to take something away, ideally something positive, in a new experience. All the while, be sure to continue to keep balance and dedicate time to taking care of yourself mentally and physically (spending time with family, friends, hobbies, and reflection), as this will allow you to continue to put your best foot forward and present yourself to partners in the best and most natural light.  Remember that occasionally being nervous or having conflicting emotions while dating is okay and normal. It is important to allow that confusion to exist and to know that you will learn to navigate these emotions in time by trusting yourself and being more comfortable not always knowing precisely what is next.

That Certain Someone

Getting back into the dating game? Silicon Valley’s undisputed Cupid, Amy Andersen, discusses the baseline for making a real love connection.

By Michael McCarthy, Modern Luxury’s Silicon Valley Magazine, July 2022

Photo by Annie Barnett

Amy Andersen is a big believer in total honesty. It’s a job requirement. As the founder of Linx Dating (linxdating.com, amy@ linxdating.com), she’s the linchpin for countless love matches in Silicon Valley. “It’s very healthy to do an honest assessment of oneself and take the necessary action to make room for finding a great partner,” she says about the self-candor she preaches with clients. As we gear up for summer and perhaps begin a new love-life chapter, Andersen offers some advice about finding those who make our lives complete, heart and soul. 

Dating is tricky. There’s physical chemistry, of course, but how do people build on non-physical chemistry to create stronger relationships? 

Focus on the emotional and intellectual [parts of a relationship]. This will come from engaging around shared experiences and anything you both love to do—whether that’s watching a movie or TV show together, live sports or music, walking or hiking, a meal out or at home, travel or reading. I think humor, in particular, is powerful. It lightens the mood and is, in some ways, the greatest example of empathy when you can share a laugh. All of these things can lead to increased and better communication, enjoyment, comfort, and vulnerability—and a deeper connection. I also recommend studying The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It can give you tremendous insight on what a partner most appreciates, whether that’s gifts, words of affirmation, touch, time spent together or acts of service. 

The most successful people learn to evolve emotionally, intellectually and socially. How do we assess ourselves in relation to the dating game?

I suggest clients take the opportunity to focus on themselves; if they’re in a good place, they’ll attract others who are in a good place. They should take stock of their physical and mental health—what could improve? How can they eliminate any unnecessary negativity and toxic stress from their lives? Remember, all of this starts from being in a healthy place in your life, putting in the hard work, and then inviting that person in at the right time.   This can be anything from fitness, nutrition and sleep. The older I get, the more I work to remove any negativity in my life. I don’t hang around toxic people or gossipy types and do a lot to keep myself balanced emotionally, mentally and physically. Keeping an open mind is critical. If people are in a good place and are open to new experiences, they will be receptive to new ways to connect with a partner. One piece of simple advice is never to refuse an invitation to a party, event or perhaps a friend’s dinner gathering. Always say yes. You never know who you’ll meet. By saying yes instead of no, you’re putting yourself out there, expanding your social network and opening up new opportunities and conversations. I’m all about diversification of one’s routine and creating optionality. 

What about clients who are trying to remake themselves as they enter the dating world? 

I see this more often when someone is going through a divorce or breakup and wants to feel empowered and look gorgeous from the inside and out. That said, I see some younger clients definitely getting regular Botox to ease crows feet and lines on the forehead. No matter where we go in the world, across cultures, there’s always going to be a perceived value in youthfulness. For some clients who want to have a refreshed appearance, it can be as simple as a visit to a medspa for a consultation— someone like Dr. Stephen Ronan of Blackhawk Plastic Surgery + MedSpa (blackhawkplasticsurgery.com)—for injectables like Botox or fi ller, or learning how a cuttingedge laser treatment can help resurface the face and neck. And, yes, hair transplantation for guys too. Noninvasive procedures like Coolsculpting also are incredible to help smooth stubborn parts of the body and boost confi dence in so many ways.

Is it me, or is summer dating easier because of the endless options for fun? 

You are not wrong. We are particularly blessed in the Bay Area with so many beautiful attractions and great music, food and wine. I always tell my clients that their dates— especially in the early stages—should be light, easy and breezy. Stay away from heavy topics and grilling your date like it’s an interrogation. Make the dates fun, and go flirt. Most importantly, give your date a chance. Remember, a lot of people come into first dates with nerves and, therefore, it’s really important to go out two or three times and then decide if it makes sense to keep exploring or graciously close the loop and move on.