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By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating
First dates can be riddled with a barrage of emotions and what feels like a surge of adrenaline pumping through your body. Many men and women suffer from jitters in the early stages of dating and these emotions are normal - you’re a human after all and it would be a bit odd if you weren’t experiencing some of that.
One of the best ways to combat these nerves is first to get into the right positive mindset. Here are some of my recommendations for getting there.
1. "Meeting a Friend"
I like to tell clients to visualize that they are meeting a friend. Friends generally make us feel good about ourselves.
Side note, if you have a friend who doesn’t bring levity to your life, perhaps its time to re-evaluate your friendships - but I digress.
When in the “meeting a friend” mindset, those pesky nerves that can interfere with pre-date and during the date emotions will begin to subside. The wet palms, increased heart rate, the WTF am I doing will take a dip.
Start this visualization the minute you have a firm plan. So if your date is on Friday and it’s Monday, it’s the right time to begin. A few minutes of daily visualizations where you remind yourself this is not a big deal, you’re meeting a new friend and it’s always fun to have new friends. Rinse and repeat a couple of minutes in the mornings and evenings leading up to the actual date. I’d apply a very similar practice to interviewing for a job as well. "I know this space inside and out, they need me more than I need them, I got this, I own this, fuck yeah."
2. “Taking Care of Yourself"
Now that you’re rockin’ your positive mindset, think about anything that makes you relax. What do you do after a stressful day?
What are your coping mechanisms that are healthy outlets? A peaceful stroll in the park? Yoga? A bubble bath, a steam or sauna with dim lighting and candles and Enya playing? Why not? Some Metallica streaming through your AirPods running, pumping iron, banging out push-ups and mountain climbers? You’ve got this. Whatever your jam is, these are great ways to have stress outlets leading up to the date.
3. “Best Foot Forward"
Now that you are doing your daily visualizations and ideally bringing relaxation to your body each day, I want you now to figure out the outfit you’ll be wearing. Although you’re meeting a new friend, I want you feeling really good about yourself. Going out to the newest sushi spot in town and cocktails at that swanky bar after, find something in your closet that makes you feel alive and sexy as hell. If you’re a female, men like color. It’s funny, they’re just like a hummingbird and respond well to color.
If you’re guy reading this, wouldn’t it be so nice to pick out a crisp dress shirt with a hint of color, a beautiful belt and dark denim. Did you know women tend to look at guys shoes first? Yep, it’s true.
So if you have your ensemble picked out, I want you to hang it up on your closet door or somewhere you can see it everyday leading up to your date. Visualize how pretty you’re going to look in your red dress and heels with your soft, incredibly sensual-to-the-touch cashmere wrap. Or how studly you’re going to feel in your freshly pressed dress shirt and those pricy suede loafers you purchased after a boozy lunch with your best friend that afternoon.
Look at it, visualize it, and get into the mindset of feeling and looking really good. You got this.
The days leading up to your date, you’re getting good sleep, limiting the booze, and curbing insane amounts of caffeine... Again, this is all the same stuff I would do if I were going on a job interview and I wanted to ace it. Mindset, action, controlling environment, and treating the body like a temple!
Day of the date, listen to your favorite song when getting ready, splash your perfume/cologne on and it’s show time.
Put that outfit on and feel golden. You are amazing and are going to have a great evening! Make sure to leave plenty of time to get to the location so you don’t stress about traffic or parking.
And when you’re there, remember, just breathe, you’re meeting a friend after all….