Connections that Count: Mastering Networking in Silicon Valley

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Networking is one of the true cornerstones of living and thriving in Silicon Valley. When I initially started my business in 2003, I immediately placed myself in the middle of events that were high-value and target rich -- I wanted to mix and network with like-minded entrepreneurs. Early on, I found out about the first location based social network called “Meetro.”

The founders of Meetro would put on networking events in "real life.”  I started by attending their bowling nights in Palo Alto, which truly put me completely out of my comfort zone as I wore a pink bowling shirt, ugly bowling shoes, and played against different entrepreneurs. It was goofy, it was silly, and it was plain old cheap fun. I met some great folks and remember handing my business card to a lady named Jessica. I didn’t think much of that particular contact other, than that I was trying to be friendly, hand my card out, and meet lots of new people. 

A few weeks later, Jessica called me and shared details that she was a reporter with the San Francisco Chronicle and inquired in a very kind way if she would be able to do a story on my teeny tiny matchmaking biz. I was completely surprised that she even remembered me, let alone wanted to do a story on Linx Dating. Delighted, I agreed and was interviewed over the phone. It was going to be a story right in time for Valentine’s Day. The day before the story was supposed to come out, she asked if she could get some images of me and proceeded to send a San Francisco Chronicle photographer down to meet me. We snapped a bunch of photos. She later shared, “Amy, rumor is, I think you might get the front cover of the newspaper!”  

February 14, 2007, my story came out and basically occupied the ENTIRE front page of the prestigious San Francisco Chronicle. I literally could not believe my eyes! Link to story

My business changed overnight and has never ceased growing! As an entrepreneur, I will be forever grateful to Jessica for that tremendous opportunity.  Beyond the friendships I made, all of this created incredible business opportunities and great business contacts. I met a man named Baris Karadogan who guided and periodically mentored me in my little Palo Alto office. Professionally, he spent ten years as an Stanford educated engineer, ten years in VC, and as a CEO. Most recently, he is CEO of a tech platform called Jingle.

A quick plug about Jingle….If you ever need fresh foods, beverages, etc., download the Jingle app - Jingle is a super cool food and services delivery platform. In a nutshell, it’s a very cost-effective marketplace for fast, direct deliveries from mobile stores and services.  In fact, at my recent networking event “Mix n Mingle” in Menlo Park, we hired Jingle to provide all of the beverages for our guests and boy was it a hit!  One of his VC mentors provided him business advice years ago and it has always stuck with Baris as a solid mantra, "Everyday you spend in the office at lunch is a waste.” What’s this mean exactly? Get out of the office at lunch, go outside, learn from people. Networking is paramount to being successful and everyone should make it like a second habit. Great advice!

Baris attended my 20th anniversary party for Linx Dating and shared this beautiful tribute on his social media. I was so touched. Baris didn’t need to do this but he did. 

"Some friendships are special. I met Amy about 20 years ago at a VC bowling event and she told me she was thinking of starting a matchmaking business.  I listened, tried to help every now and then and Linx dating was born in a tiny office in Palo Alto. As her business grew, so did our friendship. We both had families - each had kids, and we shared birthday parties, trick or treat walks, and were always there for each other. No matter what life threw at us, we always could grab a coffee or a glass of wine, and tell each other our happy and sad stories.  Twenty years later, Linx is a big success and we have been friends for 20 years.  It’s been a real pleasure walking parallel to the path of Amy’s life. I am utterly grateful to call you a dear friend. Thank you and here’s to 20 more years.” 

I will end this with a favorite quote by Woody Allen that Baris lives by: “Ninety percent of success in life is just showing up.” This is so true. I showed up to the Meetro event and that greatly impacted my career in ways I never could have imagined, and the professional dividends are still paying out some 20 years later!  

20 Years of Linx

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

As we commemorate our 20th successful year in business at Linx Dating. This is a moment to reflect on the incredible journey that has established us as the pre-eminent matchmaker in our space. Over the past two decades, we have had the pleasure and privilege of bringing countless couples together, helping them find meaningful and lasting connections. Our commitment to personalized matchmaking and our deep understanding of human relationships have been the cornerstones of our success.

Linx Dating has always prided itself on blending the art of intuitive matchmaking with the more analytical science of behavioral compatibility. Our meticulous approach involves understanding the unique needs, desires, and values of each individual. Through our bespoke service, we have created an environment where relationships can flourish, and our success stories are a testament to this dedication. From the first consultation “meet and greet”, to the moment our clients find their perfect match, we are with them every step of the way, offering support, guidance, and white glove service. 

As Founder and CEO, I reflect with immense pride on the very early days of having started my business. It all began by reaching out to a few contacts whom I knew aligned with the core Linx brand – dynamic, successful, highly educated, motivated, Bay Area based, and marriage-minded. A matchmaker has nothing to go on without a deep and powerful network. 

These keystone contacts opened up their respective rolodexes by offering me powerful connections to their like-minded single colleagues and friends. Slowly, I began taking all of these new contacts onboard, for free, so I could build a network, try to validate what I was attempting to do (play matchmaker to Silicon Valley’s elite), and build brand awareness and maintain a strong reputation. That was no small feat…those first five years set the entire blueprint for Linx Dating’s DNA. Eventually, prospects offered to compensate me for introductions, so as to get more attention and faster results, and the real business was born.

In the early days, the business was primarily an “offline” business, and all prospects ended up in my files, paying for memberships to be matched to each other. Remarkably, I was working off of index note cards and paper files (truly!) until my advisors finally insisted that I invest in building a database, which I did! 😊 

When the business was about 10 years old, I took a serious look at our trajectory. Though we had been responsible for hundreds of exclusive relationships and dozens of engagements and marriages, we realized we could be better in two key ways and have worked to capitalize accordingly:

1. BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF OUR CLIENTS

The market was telling me that there were really two basic types of clients… one group was very “active,” looking for guaranteed numbers of matches over a set time period and willing to pay accordingly. The other group was more “passive,” not looking to pay for matchmaking services, but willing to accept no guarantees and instead be ready and willing to be matched if they were a fit to be matched to one of my active clients.  

Furthermore, within the realm of active clients, the VIP Membership category was born. For 5-10 of these members per year, Linx began to take on a role similar to a corporate executive recruiter, searching outside its own database to recruit prospects. In fact, now, our primary focus is representing a small elite group of ultra-successful individuals who desire a completely heightened approach to changing the course of their personal lives.

2. BETTER USE OF TECHNOLOGY

Though Linx had been tapping its vast, highly coveted network to search for matches within a database, Linx has recently led the matchmaking industry’s charge into technology via the AI capabilities it has built into the matchmaking process, allowing quick and efficient access to the right prospects buried in its robust database and also to better recruit outside the existing network for new prospects.  

As an example of the latter, Linx has taken a very intentional, unique, and organic approach to social media and use of its website “real estate” by filming fun skits to provide tactical dating tips and approaches for our followers and featuring our VIP member profiles in various pages, spotlights and campaigns to highlight who they are and what they seek in a perfect match.

As a result of these growth initiatives, my business has grown from a small shop out of Silicon Valley to a global brand representing some of the world’s most desirable single men and women, and that has been featured in some of the world’s top media print, video, and audio outlets. I still do not advertise, nor have I relied on that as a way to grow my brand.  

With all of that said, in an industry that has seen rapid changes, Linx has remained steadfast in its mission to create authentic and meaningful connections. While apps and algorithms may facilitate meetings and drive growth, we believe that the human touch is irreplaceable when it comes to true matchmaking. 

DateSpot Interview for Matchmakers- Amy Andersen

Photo by: Annie Barnette

Interview By: Carla Swiryn , CEO & Founder of DateSpot

A Note from Amy Andersen: I was thrilled to reconnect with my esteemed colleague and dear friend, Carla Swiryn, for a written interview to shed light on the partnership between Linx Dating and DateSpot (DS).

With some of our clientele intersecting, and other potential clients clearly better suited to one of us, we've forged a harmonious referral relationship where Linx caters to the high end of the market as DateSpot offers matchmaking that is more accessible to the masses. Our collaboration thrives by ensuring that everyone can receive meticulous attention.

This interview delves into the inner workings of my business, sheds light on the dynamics of the matchmaking industry in general, reveals some of the keys to my own marriage success, and highlights numerous experiences I have had with singles navigating the dating landscape.

If you're interested in DateSpot's affordable, pay-per-match process, check it out here and add Amy at Linx as the referrer on signup.

“Ask anyone who is the most elite matchmaker in Northern California, and you will undoubtedly hear Amy’s name. Linx Dating's Founder, Amy Andersen (AA), has been matching high caliber, marriage-minded professionals for over twenty years (since 2003), with a focus on Silicon Valley, though she selectively takes on clients worldwide.

I am proud to say that Linx Dating (www.linxdating.com) was one of DateSpot’s first partners vetted and approved to access our candidate platform (to secure potential matches for their own database). In getting to know her over the years, it’s clear that through her friendly and classy charm, empathy, intuition, responsiveness, humor, and dedication, she has earned one of the highest reputations in the industry.

As the Founder of DateSpot (DS), I had the opportunity to ask her some questions to get to know more about her background, views, and ultra-successful business.

I decided to split her thoughtful answers into two parts - one blog post geared towards matchmakers and the other for singles.

I'm first sharing her answers geared towards matchmakers, so if you’re a professional in the industry or considering becoming one, perk up your ears and check out what she said…

DS: How did you enter the world of matchmaking and when did you know you could do this professionally?

AA: I was living in Silicon Valley in the height of the dot com era and was struck by how the men down in the Valley couldn’t find accessible, attractive, and extraordinary women, and how my female friends up in San Francisco couldn’t find a guy to commit. My idea literally came from pure observation about the dismal dating scene in Silicon Valley and a huge surplus of attractive brainy women in San Francisco.

I initially started matching these groups to each other for free and worked out of a Starbucks or Peets (whichever didn’t eventually kick me out) to save money, and eventually people wanted to pay to get more attention and better service. Then I knew I had a business. I had always loved putting people together and hosting little gatherings and Soirees but never thought I would actually start a matchmaking business until the opportunity in front of me was too good to be true.

DS: What advice do you have for aspiring matchmakers or people considering the occupation?

AA: This can be an extremely fun and rewarding business but also brutally tough to build, scale and differentiate yourself. You need to hugely patient, persistent, focused, and not easily discouraged. And you’d better love (mostly) what you do. Beyond this, you need to have a substantial network of singles already in place or ideas of how to generate a network. I started my business having grown up in the San Francisco Bay Area which helped a lot in the early days of building my network. You also better develop a very thick skin. I think a lot of people think this industry must be all “peaches and cream” working in such a happy business but the reality is we are dealing with extremely sensitive situations, matters of the heart, tough and demanding Clients and beyond this, running a business is really, really hard work. You need to have intuition, people skills, enjoy people of all walks of life and backgrounds, have sensitivities and compassion, not be judgmental, and beyond this some sort of business acumen.

‍DS: What lessons have you learned at Linx that could apply to any business owner?

AA: Start with a relatively narrow focus, super-serve your customers in that niche, and do that part extremely well. The key to success is thinking local versus global. Too many entrepreneurs start their business thinking about global expansion versus staying local and doing the best job you can do in your own market.

The growth will come organically from there. Also, keep all options open and pursue opportunities and relationships that you come across - you never know from where or when those breakthrough moments could come. Take meetings with all sorts of people, keep an open-mind, friendly attitude, and network. Have business cards on you.

There is something really nice about actually handing someone a card (more of an art then days) and taking the time to look at it and keep it in your rolodex of contacts.

DS: Maintaining confidentiality of course, can you share a story or scenario of one of the strangest requests or client searches?

AA: I have had some strange ones - one, in particular, was where a client was seeking a curvy, more voluptuous woman who was a graduate from one specific prestigious University. I am regularly asked by my clients to initially disclose information about them to their match that they might think would be hard to address themselves on a first date - that can be anything from a health condition to a strange preference. I get a lot of practice in the art of awkward conversations. I never judge anyone’s requests or preferences. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

DS: If you could do anything professionally other than matchmaking, what would it be?

AA: Oh I love this question! If it were based on pure passion, I might be a marine biologist, astronaut, dermatologist or do something in art like a crazy artist splashing paint on paint canvases blasting music with apprentices helping me. But as far as translating professional skills, I would probably be a natural in real estate, as I have a great network, and love sales, brokering deals, and designing spaces. I enjoy art, architecture, style, and creating a beautiful living space. I also love helping people achieve their dreams and goals.

DS: Why do you think you've been so successful?

AA: Incessant hard work, dedication and focus, a consistent and honest commitment to the brand that epitomizes me and my business and, perhaps most importantly, some really great luck along the way.

It’s hard for me to believe it’s been over 20 years that I have been running Linx Dating. To be honest, not a day has gone by in the last two decades that I am not thinking about my work. I’ve always had a fire in my belly as an entrepreneur and the flame has only intensified as my business has grown. To me each and every day is exciting. I wake up each morning grateful there is still a demand and thankful for my spectacular clients. I am excited to see how each and every day unfolds and the challenges that come with it. For me it’s still really fun and that’s what keeps me going!

‍DS: How do you think the matchmaking industry has evolved over the past 10 or 20 years?

AA: When I started my business in 2003, the notion of hiring a professional matchmaker definitely raised some eyebrows and was considered slightly taboo and maybe even a little controversial. It wasn’t for everyone and sometimes people back then assumed something was “wrong” with you if you needed to hire a matchmaker.

Fast forward some 20 years later - hiring a matchmaking has become very normalized and one could argue, en vogue. When I first started my business, there were a few key players in the space- mostly the big matchmaking services that were far more commercialized and not a lot of niche based matchmakers available. There were no apps when I started Linx and only a few dating websites like Yahoo Personals, Match, and eHarmony.

‍In the last 10 years, there have been hundreds of niche matchmakers opening shops all across the country and we have seen the rise of countless choices for dating apps. Even with sophisticated dating apps, I find a lot of singles experience real app fatigue are tired of the misrepresentations, the lack of privacy, and the poor odds. As such, I see that dating apps have reinforced the need for personalization and vetting and this is one of the many reasons the matchmaking industry has exploded with growth.

It’s an exciting time to be in the industry and has become a natural resource and obvious choice for many single men and women as compared to some 15-20 years ago.

‍DS: What are your current initiatives?

AA: A heavy focus on super-serving a smaller number of elite VIP clients. My business has evolved to primarily focus on a handful of very specialized, ultra intense VIP searches. It’s the most challenging work in the world in my humble opinion. It’s like having a puzzle and finding the missing piece in the puzzle for the search. My VIP clients basically have this incredible life with all the puzzle pieces lined up from years of hard work and so much success but the one missing piece is their match and life partner. It’s such an honor to get to figure out how to find that missing puzzle piece and when I figure it out for them and the piece fits so uniquely into that giant puzzle that represents my clients extraordinary life, a true miracle has happened. I love love and I love what I do so much!

Amy wanted to end with “Thank you for this opportunity to talk with your network about Linx and matchmaking. I am honored to have spoken to you all today.”

Spoken by a true gracious queen. Thank you, Amy! We look forward to sharing Part 2 for Singles soon!”

To follow DateSpot on Socials Visit:

Instagram @DateSpot

LinkedIn @DateSpot

The Matchmaking Midas Touch

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Over the past 20 years, Linx has positioned itself as the top global matchmaking firm by refusing to settle for anything less than unparalleled excellence. Amy Andersen founded the company with the mission to give high-caliber individuals a more private, premium, and high-yield alternative to dating on their own.

Linx prides itself on its stellar reputation… its membership has been built organically over 20 years by word-of-mouth recommendations and has grown into one of the most sought-after private networks of vetted single men and women in the world.

Locally, in Silicon Valley, Linx represents clients at tech companies including Apple, Meta, Amazon, Google, Netflix and recognizable venture capital firms such as Andreessen Horowitz, to name just a few. Linx Dating also represents select founders & CEOs, celebrities, prominent public figures, and members of high profile domestic and international families.

Linx’s matchmaking is tailor-made for people who have worked on themselves, are ready to make a long-term commitment and are clear on what they seek in a partner.  They are ready to jump two feet into the process and find it appealing that Linx is niche and works with only a select number of clients annually. If we were to drill down on the core “niche” of Linx, it would be elite, high-net-worth clientele, and other highly educated professionals who are commitment-minded. 

Our clientele demand privacy and discretion and recognize time as one of their most precious commodities.  This means that swiping on an app to find “the one” becomes arguably less appealing.

How much sex (or lack thereof) is “normal” to be having

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Whether you’re enjoying the newness of a fresh relationship or comfortable after years together, you can count on your sex life-changing. What is hot and heavy at first may calm to sporadic bedroom sessions. Or, maybe that initially awkward and mediocre sex (that perhaps you don’t want very often) can evolve to gratifying, explosive orgasms (that you’d enjoy twice daily). With such a wide spectrum, is there a baseline amount of sex we should be having?

According to the Kinsey Institute for research in Sex, Reproduction and Gender, the best predictor of sexual frequency is age—not marital status. Researchers found that, on average, people between 18-29 have 112 sex sessions a year; people between 30-39 have 86 sex sessions a year; and people between 40-49 have 69 sex sessions a year.

Wondering about the 50+ crowd? After surveying over 8000 participants over the age of 50, The Normal Bar found that 31 percent enjoy sex multiple times a week; 28 percent enjoy sex a few times a month; and 8 percent have sex once a month. Nearly a third of respondents rarely have sex at all. (Jorgensen, 2022)

Worried about your sex life losing steam? There is an upside: Although the quantity of sex may decrease with age, the quality gets better. In one study, researchers attributed the higher levels of sexual satisfaction in menopausal and post-menopausal women to their confidence, managed expectations, and ability to prioritize their sexual needs.

We’re below average! Is there a problem?

Not necessarily. In one study led by Amy Muise of The University of Toronto-Mississauga, researchers found that couples who have sex every night are just as happy as the couples who have sex once a week. In another study, researchers asked half of the 64 married couples participating to double the amount of sex they typically have. When comparing happiness levels from the cohort having more sex to the cohort sticking to their usual sex amounts, researchers found no increase in happiness. Instead, the couples with the doubled sex requirement reported lower energy levels and sexual dissatisfaction.

The findings show that real satisfaction doesn’t stem from the amount of sex, but rather from the quality of sexual experience. Sex is a vehicle for connectivity; some couples need to have sex to be connected and others can achieve connectivity other ways. In other words, as long as you and your partner feel connected, the amount of sex is secondary. “It’s important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner without putting too much pressure on engaging in sex as frequently as possible,” said Muise.

Is there a such thing as too little sex?

Technically, couples who have sex less than ten times a year are considered “sexless”. For older couples, the declining amount of sex is perfectly acceptable. But, for other couples, a mismatched libido can pose problems. If you haven’t been in the mood, take a closer look at your medications—especially antidepressants and antihistamines—and get your hormone levels checked. If you’ve ruled out physical causes, consider a fake-it-till-you-make-it approach; having sexual experiences can actually produce hormones that trigger higher levels of desire. If sex isn’t on the table, engaging in foreplay can also help fuel the flames of desire. Touching, holding, kissing, and other forms of physical contact stimulates oxytocin—a chemical that gives you feelings of closeness and connectedness with your partner.

What if we’re having too much sex?

Lucky you–literally! According to sex therapists and medical professionals, there is no such as too much sex; however, if your desire for sex is interfering with your job or relationships, you should consider chatting with a therapist.

Sources:

Jorgensen, B. (2022, November 15). Sex frequency statistics. Bedbible.com. Retrieved June 30, 2022, from https://bedbible.com/sex-frequency-statistics/

Loewenstein, G., Krishnamurti, T., Kopsic, J., & McDonald, D. (2015). Does increased sexual frequency enhance happiness? Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization, 116, 206–218. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jebo.2015.04.021

Muise, A., Schimmack, U., & Impett, E. A. (2015). Sexual frequency predicts greater well-being, but more is not always better. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 7(4), 295–302. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550615616462