By: Carla Swiryn , CEO & Founder of DateSpot
We’re back with Amy Andersen (AA) of Linx Dating, “Silicon Valley’s Cupid”, and one of DateSpot’s valued amazing partners. In our second half of the installment, she speaks to DateSpot (DS), sharing her wisdom for singles about dating, sex, marriage, plus more about her business and success.
DS: What separates Linx from other matchmaking companies?
AA: It’s really about basic supply, demand, and having a very strong global brand. 20 years of super-serving our niche target customer (clients are at an elite level in life - highly educated, successful, dynamic, high caliber professionals who desire commitment and monogamy) has led to an exponentially-growing network of primarily word-of-mouth referrals from happy clients and a strong reputation globally.
We have a highly coveted, robust database to start with, coupled with that same network’s ability to help us do outbound recruiting and hone in quickly on what our clients seek. So we get results by targeted quality (vs quantity, like the apps), and we do it all by protecting our clients’ privacy.
Beyond this, at Linx there is no “one type fits all” model to work together and our memberships are completely tailored and curated to reflect the needs of the client. The information to achieve this customization starts during the preliminary meet-and-greet stage with me in person- typically over a shared meal and relaxing conversation. Our intake process is very personalized, clients work directly with me (the founder), I meet everyone in person, and do one of the most deep dives of any matchmaking firm I know of. Most matchmakers I am aware of don’t meet clients in person and many at the executive level definitely do not do the matchmaking themselves. They focus on sales or other initiatives. My clients know they will work directly with me and that is most likely one of the reasons they sign up with Linx. This is quite unique to the industry. This is also why I only take on a small group of clients annually.
Another unique differentiating point is that Linx also turns an extremely high percentage of business away. We only accept new clients that we genuinely feel we can help, deliver real results, and get to the finish line of being in a committed, healthy, happy, thriving relationship. We always steer these prospects in the right direction and introduce them to a wonderful matchmaker at another firm that can best serve their needs. DateSpot is a great example of an awesome professional relationship that Linx Dating has where we often send DateSpot amazing singles.
DS: Do you advise clients on how they should date, and if so, what do you generally suggest?
AA: I provide a fair amount of date coaching for clients, usually only when they ask for it or I feel I need to in an extreme case. When I do, I am pretty old school - man should contact the woman first, pay for at least the first date, be a true gentleman (hold doors, etc.) I suggest that my clients have some “talking points” so that they can be prepared for conversation starters if that’s ever hard for them. I suggest they do something that will relax and energize them prior to the date so that they are in position to have fun and put their best foot forward. And, finally, I really encourage my female clients to give some verbal affirmations or other signs if they are into their date - men aren’t mind readers and all of that game playing nonchalant stuff can turn a guy off and squash any chemistry and chance for a second date. The key to success is to prepare for the date mentally and physically (a little exercise), put your best foot forward, dress the part, and keep your energy light and relaxed. Nothing stuffy, heavy, or intense.
DS: How long should two people wait to have sex?
AA: This is obviously highly personal and relationship-specific, but I generally caution my clients not to go there until they have formally gone “exclusive” with each other. Again, I’m pretty old school this way. Remember you’re not exclusive till you have the verbal talk. Don’t assume anything until a conversation has taken place!
DS: What are single professionals or retirees often looking for in a partner, and what's something they should be looking for?
AA: I really try to get my clients to keep an open mind, and to focus on a few key qualities that might be most important to them, versus getting caught up in a long laundry list of objective qualities that they must see in every match.
DS: How many couples do you think you've successfully matched up in your lifetime?
AA: Hundreds and hundreds. Of course it all depends how you define success - is that multiple successful dates for a couple, is it exclusivity, or is it marriage? Majority of all of my couples in biological childbearing years have had at least one child together. And I am really proud to say that nearly all of my marriages are still together with the exception of a couple that did not work out for the long-term.
DS: What types of clients or search parameters do you NOT take on?
AA: Unfortunately, I have not tackled same-sex matches as I don’t yet have the depth of network or level of expertise to support it.
DS: I know you are happily married; which pieces of advice are keys to your own marriage success?
AA: We get each other and respect each other’s independence and don’t crowd each other - we are both Type A and driven - but we always make time for each other to connect and get on the same page and will drop what we are doing if one needs the other. We are also parents to a wonderful 9-year old son and two dogs who we love deeply and fortunately are on the same page with parenting and bond over that. Our marriage has strengthened and deepened since having a child. Every day I am so grateful for having met my husband some 17 years ago and be blessed with a child. There is no greater gift in the world. On top of this, we encourage honesty and try to always communicate for better or for worse. I try to laugh each day and encourage my husband to not take things too seriously and bring levity to the day through humor.
With those marriage goals in mind, we’re wishing each of you all the personal and professional success that Amy has seen in her life. If you’re interested in potentially working with her, know that her fees are steep ($50K+), but if you’re fortunate enough to be in the position to be a client and to be accepted, she will do everything in her power to see you succeed like she has. You can check out her website at www.linxdating.com and her entertaining very active Instagram @ ms.linxdating.
