7 Pre-Date Questions: Setting the Stage for Success

By Dani Geary for Linx Dating

First dates can be exciting… you could be meeting the person with whom you will spend the rest of your life. But it's also okay if you end up just having one lovely conversation together and going your separate ways at the end of the date. A date is an opportunity and should not feel like a chore, but good preparation can make all the difference between a memorable evening and a potential snafu. Before you step out the door to meet your date, take a moment to run through these pre-date questions. This thoughtful preparation will help you feel confident, relaxed, and ready to make a great impression.

1. What Are You Wearing?

The first item on your pre-date checklist should always be a wardrobe check. Be sure your outfit makes you feel confident and is appropriate for the venue and occasion. Steer clear of dark colors like black and navy, and let your personality shine through your style.  Double-check for any stains or wrinkles and don't forget to consider the weather—bringing an umbrella or an extra layer can save the day.  

2. Are You Fresh and Fabulous?

Good personal hygiene is non-negotiable. Take the time to shower, brush your teeth, and add a little flare with your favorite fragrance. Pay attention to details like clean nails and tidy hair. Feeling fresh will not only boost your confidence but also show your date that you care about making a good impression.

3. Where Are You Going?

Location logistics are a must. Familiarize yourself with the date location and plan how long it will take to reach your destination. Being on time is a sign of respect… arriving flustered and/or late due to getting lost can set a stressful tone. 

4. Are You in The Right Headspace? 

Before you head out, take a few minutes to relax and center yourself. Whether it's through deep breathing, meditation, or your favorite calming music, creating a relaxed mindset will help you approach the date with a positive and open attitude.

Set a positive intention for the evening. Visualize the date going well and focus on the exciting aspects of meeting someone new. A positive mindset can be contagious and create a welcoming atmosphere for both you and your date.

5. Do You Have Backup Topics? 

To keep the conversation flowing, it's helpful to have three topics, stories, or memories to talk about. This doesn't mean you have to share every detail of your internal thoughts or life, but having a few interesting conversation starters in your pocket can be a great way to connect and find common ground. People like people who are interesting and interested.

6. Is Everything Charged?

You should always have a phone on your dates and keeping your phone charged is essential. You never know when you might need to check the map, contact your date, or need an escape route (let’s hope this is not the case). Ensure your phone is fully charged and consider bringing a portable charger just in case, especially if you are one to over prepare.

7. Have You Confirmed?

Before you head out, consider sending a courteous message to confirm your plans and let your date know your approximate arrival time. This not only shows consideration but also helps manage expectations, ensuring a smoother start to the evening.

In short, how's your fit, hygiene, and headspace? Do you have topics in case you run out of things to say? Do you know where you’re going and did you confirm with your date? If so, then you have done everything you can to set yourself up for a fabulous date. All there's left to do is go and have fun!  Don’t put too much pressure on yourself!  A successful date begins with thoughtful preparation and you’ve now done the hard part.

Networking Mixer in Silicon Valley | 02/10/24

Dear Friends,

We're thrilled to extend an exclusive invitation to you for an evening of creating new personal connections at our first-ever event collaboration with the innovative matchmaking company, DateSpot

Details:

🗓️ Date: Saturday, February 10, 2024

⏰ Time: 5:00 - 8:00 PM

📍 Location: Park James Hotel

Experience:

  • Wine-tasting booths from local wineries

  • Founder/CEO of Linx Dating, Amy Andersen, dubbed “The Cupid of Silicon Valley” will have a table at event. Come say hi, learn more about Linx matchmaking, and ask Amy anything dating/relationship related!

  • Play the guest quiz to easily get to know people and have a chance to win a weekend stay at Park James Hotel

  • Matchmaking consultation & profile photo review with DateSpot's Founder (Carla)

  • A professional quality great photo to update your potential Date Spot profile done onsite by a photographer

Discounts:

  • $9 cocktail specials (including a delightful mocktail for non-drinkers)

  • Enjoy a 10% discount on dinner reservations that night (show your ticket)

  • Stay overnight for a special $199 room rate (book here)

Ticket Details:

Tickets are available here.

Secure your ticket now for this fantastic evening of mingling and fun in Silicon Valley!

XO,

Cupid

How To Forgive a Cheating Partner... According To Science

How to forgive a cheating partner…

according to science

The pain of heartbreak coupled with a partner’s dishonesty is devastating. Most couples build trust over so many dates over so many months and all of this can crumble in moments in the wake of cheating. If your partner has been unfaithful, it can feel impossible to forgive and rebuild the relationship, but there is hope. I have seen many couples work through broken trust and come back together even stronger.

So, how is it possible to forgive a cheating partner? Firstly, you’ll need to understand why your partner cheated in the first place. According to a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, the top reasons people strayed from their partners included feeling generally dissatisfied with their partner, dealing with boredom in the bedroom or struggling to connect emotionally. Pinpointing where your relationship struggles the most will help you know where to focus your attention as you rebuild. 

Getting back on track is also going to require a lot of open, honest communication. Discussing what went wrong and how to get back on track are heavy, difficult conversations, but getting vulnerable with each other can help you build empathy for your unfaithful partner. Remember, empathizing with your partner does not excuse their behavior, but it is a way to make it easier to understand and eventually forgive their behavior. 

In addition to the open communication, setting boundaries helped partners rebuild shattered trust even faster. According to a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, couples who established boundaries and expectations after cheating were more likely to stay together and report greater relationship satisfaction. This could be like “rules” around messaging on social media, sharing locations or checking in at the end of the night. It may not sound romantic, but oversharing demonstrates a commitment to transparency. 

Finally, I can’t recommend couples therapy enough. Talking through what happened and opening up about the path forward can be much easier with professional support. Therapists can help mediate conversations that escalate and also help both of you communicate through those underlying issues that put so much stress on the relationship to begin with. Additionally, according to a study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, couples who went to therapy after infidelity were more likely to be satisfied with their relationship and more likely to forgive compared to couples who tried to repair their relationships without professional help.

At the end of the day, forgiving your partner doesn't mean forgetting what happened. Forgiving is a way to free yourself from the pain and anger caused by the partner. Deciding to rebuild a relationship with someone who broke your trust is an arduous process, but if your partner is worth it, he or she will work with you (hopefully with a therapist!) to communicate openly, establish and stick to boundaries, and reassure you—through words and actions—that it was a one-time mistake. 

Affectionately yours,

Amy

Should I Sign The Prenup? Here’s Why It’s a Good Idea

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

The idea of a prenuptial agreement—or prenup—isn’t our favorite part of the fairytale wedding. After all, when you’re planning your wedding, the last thing you want to think about is the possibility of a divorce. However, as much as we’d like to believe in the happily ever after, the truth is that not all marriages last forever. So, before you say, “I do,” there’s an important conversation that you and your partner should have: the prenup talk.

The idea of a prenup doesn’t sound romantic, but it’s a smart move for any couple, regardless of income or assets. You might want to think about it like an insurance policy for your marriage.

No one goes into a marriage expecting it to end in divorce, but the reality is that many first-time marriages do—almost half. The prenup works as an insurance policy; it protects you and your partner in case the worst happens and outlines exactly what to expect in case of a divorce.

Should your marriage need to end, the prenup will save you the long, expensive divorce of your nightmares. With a prenup, you’ll already know how to split the assets and debts, so, instead of dealing with expensive lawyers to decide who owes what, everything is already sorted. Save yourselves the headaches and trauma and spell out the contingency plans.

If you have significant personal assets, a prenup will make sure everything that’s yours stays yours. This is particularly important if you own a business or have inherited assets. Without a prenup, ownership runs into gray areas, and you might not be entitled to everything you thought you owned.

A prenup can also be a useful tool for setting expectations and discussing important issues before tying the knot. Talking about money, for example, can be uncomfortable, but it’s an important conversation to have before getting married. Working on the prenup will help you both establish financial transparency and have a clear understanding of each other’s financial goals, concerns and status.

Many people are hesitant to broach the topic of a prenup with a partner. This conversation can feel unromantic and pessimistic, so try to think of it as a relationship-building tool. Working through the details of a prenup with your partner requires trust and communication, building blocks for any successful marriage.

Ready to have the prenup conversation? Keep an open mind and a willingness to listen to your partner’s concerns. Remember, a prenup isn’t just about protecting your own assets—it’s about creating a fair agreement that works for both of you. 

One Night Stands: The Power of Choice

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

When a client is looking for a relationship, they are evaluating partners with specific criteria, like shared goals, religion or values. But, the path to finding “the one” can be long, and it’s not uncommon to meet some spectacular—yet short-term—prospects. When something like this happens, and passion takes the wheel, you might opt for a one-night stand. Such an experience can bring up a whole range of emotions, but fear not, I’m here to guide you through it.

Getting caught up in a night of passion can feel absolutely mind altering in the moment, but the next morning may feel like a different story. I’ve had many daters reach out to me with guilt and shame after a one night stand, so I wanted to offer some perspective. Before rushing to judge yourself, maybe you can remember the following:

1. Sex is a biological need

You made a decision to engage with your biological need to have sex. Why is helping yourself fulfill this human need shameful? Why are you having trouble considering this a part of your health and wellness ritual? Though you may wish to fulfill these desires within a committed relationship, you can’t control when you meet someone who makes you feel like committing. Do you think it’s healthy to let your body experience long periods without physical connection? 

2. There is no appropriate number of sexual partners

Instead of allowing society to determine the “appropriate” number of sexual partners, try thinking about your unique recipe for personal fulfillment. Not all women share the same desire for sex, why should one number work for all of them? Not all men are interested in sex over a relationship, so why should they be perceived as such? These double standards for men and women create an unfair environment for everyone. Reject these threads and create the framework that’s appropriate for you. 

3. Your health is your responsibility 

As a sexual being, it is up to you to decide what is best for your body. One-night stands can be a way for you to express physical desires without any strings attached. Instead of judging yourself, consider your one-night stand an intentional choice that allowed you to work with your sexuality instead of against it. 


4. Experiences are tools of self-discovery

Trying new things helps us get to know who we truly are. What can you learn from your one-night stand that might help you achieve better sexual satisfaction in the future? What increased your pleasure? What would you do differently? There’s a lesson in everything; what did your one-night stand teach you? 

5. Not all strong connections are meant to be long term

In life, we can only be so lucky to cross paths with someone who brings us joy, passion and spark. Why should we discount connections that are designed to be shorter term? Instead of regretting your decision due to lack of longevity, think of how rare it is to meet and share an evening with someone who incites passion.  

At the end of the day, your self worth is not defined by a single romantic encounter, but a collection of experiences, character and values. Instead of blaming yourself for sharing an incredible night of passion, own your decision to engage with your desire, take charge of your sexuality and live your life to the fullest.


Affectionately yours,

Amy