Uncovering the Unconscious: The Key to Successful Dating

By Dani Geary for Linx Dating

Dating is a complex game, a delicate dance between conscious decisions and the often unchecked realm of the unconscious mind. It's a game with countless pieces, many of which we don't even realize are in play. How can we wrestle with the idea that thoughts hidden deep within our minds can influence our actions and shape our dating experiences? The answer lies in building trust within yourself, above all else.

Our unconscious thoughts are like the roots of a tree, growing beneath the surface, and they shape our behavior more than we might think.  We are the “total sum” of all of our life’s experiences - our thoughts and learned behaviors are generated as we live our lives. When our brains encounter trauma, as we grow older, our unconscious mind continues to spring into action, guiding our actions to "protect" us from perceived threats - they whisper to our conscious thoughts, steering them away from potential threats. Over time, if these unconscious thoughts go unchecked, they can justify behaviors that once kept us safe but may now be holding us back in the world of dating.

A potential key to growth and more successful dating is to dig deeper into your unconscious mind to understand these protective mechanisms and how they might be working in your specific case so that you can have some awareness and bring balance to your dating game. 

Here's your call to action:

1. Self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your past dating experiences. Are there recurring patterns or behaviors that you see and can you potentially trace them back to any past traumas in your life?

2. Seeking support: As a progression beyond self-reflection, you might consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you explore these deeper layers of your mind by identifying traumas and working through any past issues that might be affecting your dating life.

3. Mindfulness and meditation: Practicing mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, both conscious and unconscious. Meditation can be a valuable tool in understanding and managing your thoughts.  It can be a simple as setting aside five minutes to focus on your breathing in a quiet space or an active meditation class with others.

4. Open communication: When dating, be open and honest with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. This can help you surface more hidden issues and aid you both in understanding each other on a deeper level to create a more meaningful connection.

In sum, trust yourself, actively embrace self-awareness, and pave the way for a more fulfilling and balanced dating experience. Your unconscious mind may be your protector, but with the right tools, you can guide it toward healthier and more successful choices in the world of dating.

A Day In The Life As A Matchmaker

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

My name is Amy Andersen I am the Founder and CEO of Linx Dating. I wake up around 6:30 am, and the first thing I do is drink coffee. It’s actually in my wedding vows that my husband brings me coffee in the morning. In our 15-year marriage, he’s pretty much never broken this vow- I must say it’s impressive. Then I get my kiddo's breakfast ready and quickly check my email and various messaging apps, including Signal, Proton Mail, and WhatsApp, to see if any high-profile or international clients have reached out overnight. After school drop off, I return home and do anywhere from 15-30 minutes of emails. 

My morning workout is a must I typically run 3 days a week, rain or shine. Other days I mix in gym sessions or neighborhood walks. I listen to all sorts of music on my runs, from hip hop and, don’t laugh- military boot camp marine sergeant recordings. Post-workout, I shower and whip up a nutritious green smoothie. I practice a relaxed form of intermittent fasting, refraining from eating until noon, as part of my disciplined routine.

Back at home, I shower up and make one of my insanely delish green smoothies loaded with organic spinach, blueberries, almond milk, and Live Pure super food smoothie cubes!  I also try to take my daily vitamins. I do a relaxed “my version” of intermittent fasting, do I try not to eat before 12 p.m..  If you haven’t noticed, I lead a pretty disciplined life. It’s a strategy that makes me successful. 

My office is about a 5 min drive from my home. I have optimized on purpose for a better quality of life and not spend unnecessary time on the road. If I have to commute to San Francisco from Silicon Valley for a client, I always have a driver so I can get work done on my laptop- plus I’m not someone who lives to drive. It’s a necessity but not a sport for me. 

My days are consumed by piling through an endless sea of emails. I get inbound inquiries on a daily basis from around the world of single men and women wanting to be matched. And as CEO of Linx, I always put myself in a prospect's shoes and ask myself, “What would it be like to email a dating service?”  Even if I can’t help someone, I always make a point to write them a personal email. It’s a highly personalized and heart-centric business, so it’s very important for me to not only be kind but empathetic and respond.

Beyond this, I am on the phone with my clients throughout the day, getting feedback from their respective dates and strategizing with them about getting to the next level in their personal lives (from exclusive to engagement or married)! 

I’m hydrating throughout the day- lots of water! I might be noshing on a salad throughout the day, fruit, another smoothie….or need a pick me up and grab an iced latte at Peets down the street! 

I might be on a Zoom with a prospect one afternoon or on with my social media team, mapping out our content or planning a VIP client social campaign. My team is constantly monitoring trends and what’s relevant, teaching me, and keeping me up to date on everything.  

I love slowing down with my family and going around the dinner table to discuss our days. It’s a moment during the day to be with one another, break bread, and catch up. I try to be home by 5 p.m. to make dinner for my family. I’m no chef, but I try to make healthy food. I’m vegetarian, and the rest of my family is not. This might mean a Door Dash salad for me and making pasta with Sautéed sausage and veg for them. I do a weekly menu on Sundays, but sometimes life gets crazy, and we need to adapt and be spontaneous. Once the family is off to bed, I catch up on emails for at least 1-2 hours every night. It’s also a time for me to match clients and think about “who” could be a fantastic fit with which client. I love how creative my job is!

Generally around 10 p.m. I will watch something brainless like Love Is Blind or The Golden Bachelor. It’s part of the job, right? I review my “To Do” List and Appts for the next day at the end of the day. I say some affirmations before bed and always think about my couples and clients. I literally visualize their happiness and success in the Matchmaking journey. I remind myself how grateful I am and so blessed to be celebrating my twentieth year in running Linx Dating. 

I am lights out at midnight and ready to go again the next day! 

Take a Chance on Love

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

I just had someone turn a potential match away because there was a 58 mile geographic divide.

Ok I kind of get it, but let’s look at the BIG picture.

That person some 58 miles away could very well be the love of your life.

You are willing to forgo meeting someone that could be your future someone because you need to drive an hour?

My parents met in San Francisco, a city they both happened to be visiting on their respective vacations.

My Dad met my Mom and fell head over heels in love with her.

He proposed NINE DAYS after knowing her. She accepted.

*Yet there was a twist to their love story*

He lived in Europe. She resided in Oregon. How could this work?

She had never been to Europe before.

But she knew he was her future.

So she packed her bags and boarded a plane and moved to be with the man who had proposed a week prior.

Here they are, married over 50 years later.

TAKE A CHANCE ON LOVE. Do not say NO to opportunities. Put yourself out there and be a bit more open-minded. You never know who you will meet when you open your heart and mind to the grand possibilities ahead.

The Importance of “Alone Time” in Relationships

By Dani Geary for Linx Dating

The concept of "alone time" within a relationship often sparks anxiety or concern but, in reality, it can be a cornerstone of maintaining a healthy, balanced connection with your partner. Love doesn't demand constant togetherness. Contrary to popular belief, carving out moments of solitude within a relationship is not a sign of detachment, but rather a contribution to the relationship’s strength, as it can encourage personal growth and help each person maintain independence.

Alone Time: A Vital Component of Relationship Wellness

Here are some specific reasons why alone time is an essential ingredient in healthy relationships.

1. Preserving Individual Identities   

Allowing space for alone time is a powerful means of protecting individual identities. Each partner brings unique qualities, interests, and passions to the relationship. Spending time apart facilitates personal exploration and ensures that these distinctive aspects continue to thrive.

2. Cultivating Independence

Independence is not a threat to a relationship; rather, it is the foundation of how a healthy partnership grows. Alone time provides an opportunity for self-reflection and the development of personal interests, promoting a sense of autonomy that enriches the individual and, by extension, the relationship.

3. Refreshed Connection

Absence truly can make the heart grow fonder. Taking time apart refreshes the connection between partners. It allows each individual to miss the other, fostering a renewed appreciation for shared moments and experiences.

Understanding the Fear of Alone Time

While the benefits of alone time are clear, many people shy away from it.  Why?  

1. Fear of Introspection

Alone time forces individuals to confront their thoughts and emotions, which can be a daunting prospect. However, this self-awareness is a powerful tool for personal growth. Embracing the discomfort of introspection can lead to increased self-understanding and emotional intelligence.

2. Loss of Independence

Some individuals fear that spending time alone may erode their sense of independence. It's crucial to recognize that maintaining independence within a relationship is not about isolation; rather, it's about honoring one's individuality. True interdependence thrives when both partners can stand strong as individuals.

Embracing Alone Time: Strategies for a Balanced Relationship

Now that we understand the importance of alone time and have addressed some common fears, let's explore some practical strategies for incorporating private time into a relationship:

1. Scheduled Solo Activities

Plan regular solo activities or hobbies that each partner can enjoy independently. This might include reading, pursuing a personal hobby, or simply taking a leisurely solo walk.

2. Communication and Boundaries   

Open communication is key. Discuss the importance of alone time with your partner, set boundaries, and establish mutual respect for each other's need for solitude. This ensures that both individuals feel understood and supported.

3. Solo Reflection Sessions

Schedule short periods of alone time for personal reflection. This can be as simple as enjoying a quiet cup of tea, journaling, or practicing mindfulness. These moments provide an opportunity to check in with oneself and cultivate a sense of inner peace.

In conclusion, the journey of love is a shared one, but it is equally essential to honor and nurture the self within that journey. Alone time is not a threat to a relationship; rather, it is a testament to the strength of the individuals involved. By embracing moments of solitude, confronting fears, and fostering personal growth, couples can build a relationship that thrives on the beautiful balance between togetherness and independence.

The Matchmaking Midas Touch

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Over the past 20 years, Linx has positioned itself as the top global matchmaking firm by refusing to settle for anything less than unparalleled excellence. Amy Andersen founded the company with the mission to give high-caliber individuals a more private, premium, and high-yield alternative to dating on their own.

Linx prides itself on its stellar reputation… its membership has been built organically over 20 years by word-of-mouth recommendations and has grown into one of the most sought-after private networks of vetted single men and women in the world.

Locally, in Silicon Valley, Linx represents clients at tech companies including Apple, Meta, Amazon, Google, Netflix and recognizable venture capital firms such as Andreessen Horowitz, to name just a few. Linx Dating also represents select founders & CEOs, celebrities, prominent public figures, and members of high profile domestic and international families.

Linx’s matchmaking is tailor-made for people who have worked on themselves, are ready to make a long-term commitment and are clear on what they seek in a partner.  They are ready to jump two feet into the process and find it appealing that Linx is niche and works with only a select number of clients annually. If we were to drill down on the core “niche” of Linx, it would be elite, high-net-worth clientele, and other highly educated professionals who are commitment-minded. 

Our clientele demand privacy and discretion and recognize time as one of their most precious commodities.  This means that swiping on an app to find “the one” becomes arguably less appealing.