By Dani Geary for Linx Dating
Dating is a complex game, a delicate dance between conscious decisions and the often unchecked realm of the unconscious mind. It's a game with countless pieces, many of which we don't even realize are in play. How can we wrestle with the idea that thoughts hidden deep within our minds can influence our actions and shape our dating experiences? The answer lies in building trust within yourself, above all else.
Our unconscious thoughts are like the roots of a tree, growing beneath the surface, and they shape our behavior more than we might think. We are the “total sum” of all of our life’s experiences - our thoughts and learned behaviors are generated as we live our lives. When our brains encounter trauma, as we grow older, our unconscious mind continues to spring into action, guiding our actions to "protect" us from perceived threats - they whisper to our conscious thoughts, steering them away from potential threats. Over time, if these unconscious thoughts go unchecked, they can justify behaviors that once kept us safe but may now be holding us back in the world of dating.
A potential key to growth and more successful dating is to dig deeper into your unconscious mind to understand these protective mechanisms and how they might be working in your specific case so that you can have some awareness and bring balance to your dating game.
Here's your call to action:
Self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your past dating experiences. Are there recurring patterns or behaviors that you see and can you potentially trace them back to any past traumas in your life?
Seeking support: As a progression beyond self-reflection, you might consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you explore these deeper layers of your mind by identifying traumas and working through any past issues that might be affecting your dating life.
Mindfulness and meditation: Practicing mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, both conscious and unconscious. Meditation can be a valuable tool in understanding and managing your thoughts. It can be a simple as setting aside five minutes to focus on your breathing in a quiet space or an active meditation class with others.
Open communication: When dating, be open and honest with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. This can help you surface more hidden issues and aid you both in understanding each other on a deeper level to create a more meaningful connection.
In sum, trust yourself, actively embrace self-awareness, and pave the way for a more fulfilling and balanced dating experience. Your unconscious mind may be your protector, but with the right tools, you can guide it toward healthier and more successful choices in the world of dating.