No Detail Too Small: Digging Deep for the Perfect Match

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

The Linx Dating client experience goes far beyond merely signing up and looking through a set of headshots in a database. Our comprehensive matchmaking services include thorough screening, detailed vetting, and an in-depth understanding of each client's unique needs and preferences so that we can maximize the chance of success.

To start, Linx cherry picks the clients we feel we can really help, and weeks of work goes in behind-the-scenes to get to know the client on a much deeper level before any matchmaking even takes place. I think one of the things I love most about running Linx is this huge “discovery process” and the unexpected twists and turns that it can take. Many matchmakers stick to doing a Zoom session to onboard a new client. I not only typically do this early work in person, but further request that my client open his/her inner world to me (and often my team) to help give me critical insights, a backstory, and facts that I would never know if we were not to fully immerse. For example, I regularly visit a client’s home and workplace if welcomed and appropriate, favorite hangout spots, and even speak to their close circle of friends and community of supporters to glean a broader perspective as I collect data.

In fact, in the last 7 days, I have chatted for 3 hours in one of my new VIP client’s living room, with three of her best friends, enjoyed meals together with her, walked through her homes to garner more information, all with the intention to pick up on the nuances, the grey zones, and to see if I can come up with any epiphanies along the way. Moreover, as I have moved past the initial in-person, I have done multiple follow-up Zoom calls with additional close friends and colleagues of hers from around the world.

These deep dive immersions are spectacular. They are like a flower that begins to open up and bloom. The client feels excited when he/she sees my eyes light up and realizes that my team is getting multiple steps closer to isolating the “the type” of person he/she needs, and to also be mindful of what is NOT a fit.

At Linx, not only do we work on this “discovery” process which is light years ahead of the current standard in the matchmaking industry; we prep the client for the dating world via the right photography, wardrobe, and any other personal life management so that they feel beyond ready, on their game, and can step forward with 100% with a confident stride and major pep in their step.

All of these elements I have mentioned here also play the additional role of building further trust with the client. As I reflect back on many clients (VIP and other) over the years, although the initial connection was likely made when they began to “know of me” over the years by attending my events or reading about my business on the periphery, the growth of our working relationship accelerated once they were ready to become a client and we began spending considerable time together over meals, conversations, and getting more and more comfortable each time.

This is a huge investment of time, emotion, energy, and money for a prospective client and definitely not for everyone. It’s not like waving a wand, doing a quick Zoom, and boom, someone is a new client. As I hope you can now see, these relationships take time to nurture and require patience and commitment.

Then again, a potential client is looking to make some of the most important decisions in his/her life – whom to marry and potentially with whom to have children… and any process around those kinds of decisions should not be taken lightly.

While this matchmaking methodology is not for the faint of heart, for the handful of golden clients who decide that it is, we treasure, and take great care in guiding, them every step of the way until they reach the finish line.

The Power of a Strong Network

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating


“Your network is your net worth.” – Porter Gale, author and former VP of Marketing at Virgin America

In the professional world, we often talk about the importance of building a strong network for career growth, new opportunities, and personal development. But, sometimes, the connections we make can lead to something even more extraordinary—finding a life partner.

I recently witnessed a beautiful example of this when two incredible individuals, each with their own goals and dreams, crossed paths through my network.

Several years ago, my friend and fellow matchmaker, Shannon Lundgren of Shannon’s Circle reached out to me, wondering if I had any potential matches for her client Douglas and went on to share his ideal match criteria with me.  

Remarkably, a name popped into my head - Peggy - someone whom I had screened as a prospect many years before, who had really made a lasting impression on me.  I remember sitting on the couch with her, feeling her grace, huge heart, gentle spirit and kindness.  I didn’t even need to do a database search because I knew instantly that she would be the one.

Sure enough, I contacted her, found out she was still single, and we proceeded to make the introduction.

What started as a simple connection, for this extraordinary couple, quickly blossomed into something deeper, and today, they stand side by side as partners in life, having tied the

knot here in the Bay Area this last weekend.

This story is a powerful reminder that our networks are more than just career tools; they are communities of people who can bring unexpected joy and fulfillment into our lives.

I will never forget when Peggy brought me a dancing stuffed birthday bear toy for my newborn baby boy all those years ago, soon after I had given birth. It was a token of her appreciation and cemented a lasting, positive impression.

As the great Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

So, to everyone out there building connections, remember—your network might just help you find more than a new job or opportunity. It might help you find the person who will walk beside you on life’s journey. 💍❤️

Uncovering the Unconscious: The Key to Successful Dating

By Dani Geary for Linx Dating

Dating is a complex game, a delicate dance between conscious decisions and the often unchecked realm of the unconscious mind. It's a game with countless pieces, many of which we don't even realize are in play. How can we wrestle with the idea that thoughts hidden deep within our minds can influence our actions and shape our dating experiences? The answer lies in building trust within yourself, above all else.

Our unconscious thoughts are like the roots of a tree, growing beneath the surface, and they shape our behavior more than we might think.  We are the “total sum” of all of our life’s experiences - our thoughts and learned behaviors are generated as we live our lives. When our brains encounter trauma, as we grow older, our unconscious mind continues to spring into action, guiding our actions to "protect" us from perceived threats - they whisper to our conscious thoughts, steering them away from potential threats. Over time, if these unconscious thoughts go unchecked, they can justify behaviors that once kept us safe but may now be holding us back in the world of dating.

A potential key to growth and more successful dating is to dig deeper into your unconscious mind to understand these protective mechanisms and how they might be working in your specific case so that you can have some awareness and bring balance to your dating game. 

Here's your call to action:

1. Self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your past dating experiences. Are there recurring patterns or behaviors that you see and can you potentially trace them back to any past traumas in your life?

2. Seeking support: As a progression beyond self-reflection, you might consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you explore these deeper layers of your mind by identifying traumas and working through any past issues that might be affecting your dating life.

3. Mindfulness and meditation: Practicing mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, both conscious and unconscious. Meditation can be a valuable tool in understanding and managing your thoughts.  It can be a simple as setting aside five minutes to focus on your breathing in a quiet space or an active meditation class with others.

4. Open communication: When dating, be open and honest with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. This can help you surface more hidden issues and aid you both in understanding each other on a deeper level to create a more meaningful connection.

In sum, trust yourself, actively embrace self-awareness, and pave the way for a more fulfilling and balanced dating experience. Your unconscious mind may be your protector, but with the right tools, you can guide it toward healthier and more successful choices in the world of dating.

The Importance of “Alone Time” in Relationships

By Dani Geary for Linx Dating

The concept of "alone time" within a relationship often sparks anxiety or concern but, in reality, it can be a cornerstone of maintaining a healthy, balanced connection with your partner. Love doesn't demand constant togetherness. Contrary to popular belief, carving out moments of solitude within a relationship is not a sign of detachment, but rather a contribution to the relationship’s strength, as it can encourage personal growth and help each person maintain independence.

Alone Time: A Vital Component of Relationship Wellness

Here are some specific reasons why alone time is an essential ingredient in healthy relationships.

1. Preserving Individual Identities   

Allowing space for alone time is a powerful means of protecting individual identities. Each partner brings unique qualities, interests, and passions to the relationship. Spending time apart facilitates personal exploration and ensures that these distinctive aspects continue to thrive.

2. Cultivating Independence

Independence is not a threat to a relationship; rather, it is the foundation of how a healthy partnership grows. Alone time provides an opportunity for self-reflection and the development of personal interests, promoting a sense of autonomy that enriches the individual and, by extension, the relationship.

3. Refreshed Connection

Absence truly can make the heart grow fonder. Taking time apart refreshes the connection between partners. It allows each individual to miss the other, fostering a renewed appreciation for shared moments and experiences.

Understanding the Fear of Alone Time

While the benefits of alone time are clear, many people shy away from it.  Why?  

1. Fear of Introspection

Alone time forces individuals to confront their thoughts and emotions, which can be a daunting prospect. However, this self-awareness is a powerful tool for personal growth. Embracing the discomfort of introspection can lead to increased self-understanding and emotional intelligence.

2. Loss of Independence

Some individuals fear that spending time alone may erode their sense of independence. It's crucial to recognize that maintaining independence within a relationship is not about isolation; rather, it's about honoring one's individuality. True interdependence thrives when both partners can stand strong as individuals.

Embracing Alone Time: Strategies for a Balanced Relationship

Now that we understand the importance of alone time and have addressed some common fears, let's explore some practical strategies for incorporating private time into a relationship:

1. Scheduled Solo Activities

Plan regular solo activities or hobbies that each partner can enjoy independently. This might include reading, pursuing a personal hobby, or simply taking a leisurely solo walk.

2. Communication and Boundaries   

Open communication is key. Discuss the importance of alone time with your partner, set boundaries, and establish mutual respect for each other's need for solitude. This ensures that both individuals feel understood and supported.

3. Solo Reflection Sessions

Schedule short periods of alone time for personal reflection. This can be as simple as enjoying a quiet cup of tea, journaling, or practicing mindfulness. These moments provide an opportunity to check in with oneself and cultivate a sense of inner peace.

In conclusion, the journey of love is a shared one, but it is equally essential to honor and nurture the self within that journey. Alone time is not a threat to a relationship; rather, it is a testament to the strength of the individuals involved. By embracing moments of solitude, confronting fears, and fostering personal growth, couples can build a relationship that thrives on the beautiful balance between togetherness and independence.

7 Pre-Date Questions: Setting the Stage for Success

By Dani Geary for Linx Dating

First dates can be exciting… you could be meeting the person with whom you will spend the rest of your life. But it's also okay if you end up just having one lovely conversation together and going your separate ways at the end of the date. A date is an opportunity and should not feel like a chore, but good preparation can make all the difference between a memorable evening and a potential snafu. Before you step out the door to meet your date, take a moment to run through these pre-date questions. This thoughtful preparation will help you feel confident, relaxed, and ready to make a great impression.

1. What Are You Wearing?

The first item on your pre-date checklist should always be a wardrobe check. Be sure your outfit makes you feel confident and is appropriate for the venue and occasion. Steer clear of dark colors like black and navy, and let your personality shine through your style.  Double-check for any stains or wrinkles and don't forget to consider the weather—bringing an umbrella or an extra layer can save the day.  

2. Are You Fresh and Fabulous?

Good personal hygiene is non-negotiable. Take the time to shower, brush your teeth, and add a little flare with your favorite fragrance. Pay attention to details like clean nails and tidy hair. Feeling fresh will not only boost your confidence but also show your date that you care about making a good impression.

3. Where Are You Going?

Location logistics are a must. Familiarize yourself with the date location and plan how long it will take to reach your destination. Being on time is a sign of respect… arriving flustered and/or late due to getting lost can set a stressful tone. 

4. Are You in The Right Headspace? 

Before you head out, take a few minutes to relax and center yourself. Whether it's through deep breathing, meditation, or your favorite calming music, creating a relaxed mindset will help you approach the date with a positive and open attitude.

Set a positive intention for the evening. Visualize the date going well and focus on the exciting aspects of meeting someone new. A positive mindset can be contagious and create a welcoming atmosphere for both you and your date.

5. Do You Have Backup Topics? 

To keep the conversation flowing, it's helpful to have three topics, stories, or memories to talk about. This doesn't mean you have to share every detail of your internal thoughts or life, but having a few interesting conversation starters in your pocket can be a great way to connect and find common ground. People like people who are interesting and interested.

6. Is Everything Charged?

You should always have a phone on your dates and keeping your phone charged is essential. You never know when you might need to check the map, contact your date, or need an escape route (let’s hope this is not the case). Ensure your phone is fully charged and consider bringing a portable charger just in case, especially if you are one to over prepare.

7. Have You Confirmed?

Before you head out, consider sending a courteous message to confirm your plans and let your date know your approximate arrival time. This not only shows consideration but also helps manage expectations, ensuring a smoother start to the evening.

In short, how's your fit, hygiene, and headspace? Do you have topics in case you run out of things to say? Do you know where you’re going and did you confirm with your date? If so, then you have done everything you can to set yourself up for a fabulous date. All there's left to do is go and have fun!  Don’t put too much pressure on yourself!  A successful date begins with thoughtful preparation and you’ve now done the hard part.