Lifestyle & Compatibility

Connections that Count: Mastering Networking in Silicon Valley

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Networking is one of the true cornerstones of living and thriving in Silicon Valley. When I initially started my business in 2003, I immediately placed myself in the middle of events that were high-value and target rich -- I wanted to mix and network with like-minded entrepreneurs. Early on, I found out about the first location based social network called “Meetro.”

The founders of Meetro would put on networking events in "real life.”  I started by attending their bowling nights in Palo Alto, which truly put me completely out of my comfort zone as I wore a pink bowling shirt, ugly bowling shoes, and played against different entrepreneurs. It was goofy, it was silly, and it was plain old cheap fun. I met some great folks and remember handing my business card to a lady named Jessica. I didn’t think much of that particular contact other, than that I was trying to be friendly, hand my card out, and meet lots of new people. 

A few weeks later, Jessica called me and shared details that she was a reporter with the San Francisco Chronicle and inquired in a very kind way if she would be able to do a story on my teeny tiny matchmaking biz. I was completely surprised that she even remembered me, let alone wanted to do a story on Linx Dating. Delighted, I agreed and was interviewed over the phone. It was going to be a story right in time for Valentine’s Day. The day before the story was supposed to come out, she asked if she could get some images of me and proceeded to send a San Francisco Chronicle photographer down to meet me. We snapped a bunch of photos. She later shared, “Amy, rumor is, I think you might get the front cover of the newspaper!”  

February 14, 2007, my story came out and basically occupied the ENTIRE front page of the prestigious San Francisco Chronicle. I literally could not believe my eyes! Link to story

My business changed overnight and has never ceased growing! As an entrepreneur, I will be forever grateful to Jessica for that tremendous opportunity.  Beyond the friendships I made, all of this created incredible business opportunities and great business contacts. I met a man named Baris Karadogan who guided and periodically mentored me in my little Palo Alto office. Professionally, he spent ten years as an Stanford educated engineer, ten years in VC, and as a CEO. Most recently, he is CEO of a tech platform called Jingle.

A quick plug about Jingle….If you ever need fresh foods, beverages, etc., download the Jingle app - Jingle is a super cool food and services delivery platform. In a nutshell, it’s a very cost-effective marketplace for fast, direct deliveries from mobile stores and services.  In fact, at my recent networking event “Mix n Mingle” in Menlo Park, we hired Jingle to provide all of the beverages for our guests and boy was it a hit!  One of his VC mentors provided him business advice years ago and it has always stuck with Baris as a solid mantra, "Everyday you spend in the office at lunch is a waste.” What’s this mean exactly? Get out of the office at lunch, go outside, learn from people. Networking is paramount to being successful and everyone should make it like a second habit. Great advice!

Baris attended my 20th anniversary party for Linx Dating and shared this beautiful tribute on his social media. I was so touched. Baris didn’t need to do this but he did. 

"Some friendships are special. I met Amy about 20 years ago at a VC bowling event and she told me she was thinking of starting a matchmaking business.  I listened, tried to help every now and then and Linx dating was born in a tiny office in Palo Alto. As her business grew, so did our friendship. We both had families - each had kids, and we shared birthday parties, trick or treat walks, and were always there for each other. No matter what life threw at us, we always could grab a coffee or a glass of wine, and tell each other our happy and sad stories.  Twenty years later, Linx is a big success and we have been friends for 20 years.  It’s been a real pleasure walking parallel to the path of Amy’s life. I am utterly grateful to call you a dear friend. Thank you and here’s to 20 more years.” 

I will end this with a favorite quote by Woody Allen that Baris lives by: “Ninety percent of success in life is just showing up.” This is so true. I showed up to the Meetro event and that greatly impacted my career in ways I never could have imagined, and the professional dividends are still paying out some 20 years later!  

Celebrating 20 Years Of Love and Matchmaking

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

I recently hosted an incredibly memorable event at the Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel memorializing over two decades of my running Linx Dating.

The Rosewood is particularly symbolic for me as I hosted one of the original private events at the hotel when it opened in 2009. Vanity Fair magazine got wind of the excitement of my Link & Drink and ended up doing a feature on love in Silicon Valley that became a global sensation.

Over 120 members of the Linx network helped me celebrate 20 incredible years of love and matchmaking in Silicon Valley and reminded me how beyond grateful and honored I am to wear the title of Cupid of Silicon Valley.

My small but mighty team Dani Geary and Caroline Novia stood by my side and, collectively, we made our guests feel warm, welcome, and appreciated for how wonderful they are! Our guests networked and made excellent professional connections and, as in true Link & Drink fashion, we witnessed some sparks potentially blossoming into love connections.

As my toast illuminated, it’s hard for me to articulate how deeply meaningful my business is to me. It has been the source of such deep satisfaction to me over the years. But far beyond me, I also wanted to make it clear how grateful I am for your supporting our local community and female run businesses.

Cheers to another 20 years of matchmaking and spreading more love in this world!

I’ve been deeply touched by all the praise and kind words shared after the event. It’s incredibly fulfilling to know that our efforts have resonated with so many and created truly memorable experiences.

"Thank you for hosting in such a beautiful setting, a true pleasure to attend and meeting so many interesting people as well. Wishing you a happy 20th celebration of Linx and with many more successful years to come!"

"Thank you for the invitation to your 20 year anniversary of Linx. You are an inspiration to women business owners and your care, attention, and sincerity are evident in all that you do. I had a lovely time. Thank you again for the invitation and I wish you, and your lovely team much success!” 

“To honor you as you have done so much for us. You are so special to me. A sister from another mister;) I love you and I celebrate all the magic you do in the world. Xoxox” 

"Thank you for hosting in such a beautiful setting, a true pleasure to attend and meeting so many interesting people as well. Wishing you a happy 20th celebration of Linx and with many more successful years to come!"

"Thank you so much for putting on and inviting me to the 20th year anniversary celebration of Linx.  The locale, mix of people, drinks/appetizers/desserts were all amazing.  You were receiving major kudos from everyone regarding your professionalism, kindness, responsiveness and making a difference in people's lives.  Here's to the next 20 years!  :-)"

"Amy - I am really looking forward to being there to celebrate a true success story of American Entrepreneurism! Cheers!!” 

“Dear Amy, Congrats to Linx’s 20th year anniversary! Your vision, hard work, and dedication has brought success and impacted so many lives for the better. We celebrate this milestone with you!” 

“Congrats on everything! Thank you for all you're done for love around the world!” 

“I am so proud of all your accomplishments and be the countless marriages and children that have some about from all you hard work and passion cultivating love in this world.”  

“Congratulations on 20 incredible years! Through your vision, passion, and extraordinary talent, Linx has become a trusted haven where people discover the beauty of deep, meaningful relationships.” 

“You should be very proud of building a maintaining a district, high-end luxury service brand with premium pricing as a TRUE entrepreneur! EXTREME congrats for 20 years!” 

"It was a terrific event and I had the opportunity to meet some interesting people! I also want to give you my congratulations (again) on achieving 20 years of success! I think Linx Dating must literally be a labor of love because in at least one way it is a terrible business proposition - if you do your job well, you will have zero repeat customers! Nevertheless, I saw that you have an enthusiastic fan club so you are clearly doing a lot of things right.” 

"Thanks again for including me in your 20th Anniversary event. It was so lovely interacting with the wonderful community you've created and hearing all the well-deserved accolades. (Talk about an Amy fan club!)  I look forward to seeing you again soon and wish you continued happiness and success ahead.  Sending kudos and big hugs!” 

"It was an absolute pleasure meeting you in person last week at your unforgettable event at the Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel. I am truly honored to have been part of such a special occasion, celebrating over two decades of Linx Dating's remarkable journey.” 

“I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to connect with you, your wonderful team, and the extraordinary people you bring together. Your passion for fostering connections and love in Silicon Valley is truly inspiring, and I am so glad you enjoyed my card and gift. The warmth, energy, and genuine care that you, Dani, and Caroline extended to everyone was deeply felt.”

“Thank you for sharing the beautiful picture from the event—it captures the essence of the celebration and the incredible memories we created together. I’m so looking forward to seeing you again at next week’s event and continuing to support your mission of spreading love and connection.” 

In a delightful surprise that left guests buzzing, Monika Spruch of Catwalk Opera graced the stage with a breathtaking performance at our event. Her enchanting voice and stage presence truly made her one of the highlights of the evening!

20 Years of Linx

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

As we commemorate our 20th successful year in business at Linx Dating. This is a moment to reflect on the incredible journey that has established us as the pre-eminent matchmaker in our space. Over the past two decades, we have had the pleasure and privilege of bringing countless couples together, helping them find meaningful and lasting connections. Our commitment to personalized matchmaking and our deep understanding of human relationships have been the cornerstones of our success.

Linx Dating has always prided itself on blending the art of intuitive matchmaking with the more analytical science of behavioral compatibility. Our meticulous approach involves understanding the unique needs, desires, and values of each individual. Through our bespoke service, we have created an environment where relationships can flourish, and our success stories are a testament to this dedication. From the first consultation “meet and greet”, to the moment our clients find their perfect match, we are with them every step of the way, offering support, guidance, and white glove service. 

As Founder and CEO, I reflect with immense pride on the very early days of having started my business. It all began by reaching out to a few contacts whom I knew aligned with the core Linx brand – dynamic, successful, highly educated, motivated, Bay Area based, and marriage-minded. A matchmaker has nothing to go on without a deep and powerful network. 

These keystone contacts opened up their respective rolodexes by offering me powerful connections to their like-minded single colleagues and friends. Slowly, I began taking all of these new contacts onboard, for free, so I could build a network, try to validate what I was attempting to do (play matchmaker to Silicon Valley’s elite), and build brand awareness and maintain a strong reputation. That was no small feat…those first five years set the entire blueprint for Linx Dating’s DNA. Eventually, prospects offered to compensate me for introductions, so as to get more attention and faster results, and the real business was born.

In the early days, the business was primarily an “offline” business, and all prospects ended up in my files, paying for memberships to be matched to each other. Remarkably, I was working off of index note cards and paper files (truly!) until my advisors finally insisted that I invest in building a database, which I did! 😊 

When the business was about 10 years old, I took a serious look at our trajectory. Though we had been responsible for hundreds of exclusive relationships and dozens of engagements and marriages, we realized we could be better in two key ways and have worked to capitalize accordingly:

1. BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF OUR CLIENTS

The market was telling me that there were really two basic types of clients… one group was very “active,” looking for guaranteed numbers of matches over a set time period and willing to pay accordingly. The other group was more “passive,” not looking to pay for matchmaking services, but willing to accept no guarantees and instead be ready and willing to be matched if they were a fit to be matched to one of my active clients.  

Furthermore, within the realm of active clients, the VIP Membership category was born. For 5-10 of these members per year, Linx began to take on a role similar to a corporate executive recruiter, searching outside its own database to recruit prospects. In fact, now, our primary focus is representing a small elite group of ultra-successful individuals who desire a completely heightened approach to changing the course of their personal lives.

2. BETTER USE OF TECHNOLOGY

Though Linx had been tapping its vast, highly coveted network to search for matches within a database, Linx has recently led the matchmaking industry’s charge into technology via the AI capabilities it has built into the matchmaking process, allowing quick and efficient access to the right prospects buried in its robust database and also to better recruit outside the existing network for new prospects.  

As an example of the latter, Linx has taken a very intentional, unique, and organic approach to social media and use of its website “real estate” by filming fun skits to provide tactical dating tips and approaches for our followers and featuring our VIP member profiles in various pages, spotlights and campaigns to highlight who they are and what they seek in a perfect match.

As a result of these growth initiatives, my business has grown from a small shop out of Silicon Valley to a global brand representing some of the world’s most desirable single men and women, and that has been featured in some of the world’s top media print, video, and audio outlets. I still do not advertise, nor have I relied on that as a way to grow my brand.  

With all of that said, in an industry that has seen rapid changes, Linx has remained steadfast in its mission to create authentic and meaningful connections. While apps and algorithms may facilitate meetings and drive growth, we believe that the human touch is irreplaceable when it comes to true matchmaking. 

Dating & Finance (Part 3)

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Tough conversations for couples can vary depending on their specific circumstances, but one theme that we hear about regularly is MONEY. Over 50% of couples do not communicate anything about finances. According to AICPA research, nearly three in four (73%) married or cohabitating Americans say financial decisions are a source of tension in their relationship. 

Let’s get real….hashing out finances, including budgeting, spending habits, debts, and long-term financial goals, can be very challenging. These discussions may include decisions about joint bank accounts, saving for the future, or managing financial disparities between partners, among other things.

At Linx, we see this is as a heavily recurring theme in our couples and have taken the initiative to recruit a top SF Bay Area-based financial professional to answer some questions and provide general guidance on navigating potential landmines.  Our expert works in private wealth management and brings deep experience and a broad perspective to relationships with a select group of families, individuals, and entrepreneurs of all backgrounds, ages, and stages in their lives. 

Q: I know that you represent high net worth families, individuals, and entrepreneurs. I would imagine that you have encountered situations where two individuals in a romantic relationship love each other, but might be forced to address a significant disparity in financial income, assets, or both?  How does one bring up this topic with ease and confidence?  

A:  Not to sound like a broken record, but we are back to knowing your numbers.

If everyone knows their numbers and is forthright about their numbers, then household financial planning can proceed in a thoughtful manner, taking into account what each person can afford and reflecting any disparities in income or assets.  The realities of life require this planning and create a natural “excuse,” if one is even needed, to have any hard, adult discussions.

Ambiguity is what usually breeds resentment and causes problems.  It’s hard not to be resentful if you are spending what you cannot afford to keep up with a wealthier partner.  Moreover, if a wealthier partner cannot understand that, then you have a major red flag in the relationship.  Even with that said, if a wealthier partner starts receiving unrealistic financial demands from the less wealthy partner, then that is an equally big red flag.  Perhaps worst of all, if a partner is not receptive to hashing these issues out with you, even if awkward or difficult, that could be the biggest red flag of all.

Q: In your experience, what are some other “hot button” issues for a newly exclusive or recently married couple?     Are there any stories or scenarios you can cite from your practice that could be beneficial as “lessons learned” for our readers?

A: Communication is super important.  

I watch a couple’s body language all the time when we are planning or doing portfolio reviews.  You usually can tell which ones have a healthy relationship by how they communicate.  Strangely the ones that argue the most (respectfully on both sides of course) are usually the ones with the strongest relationship.  They talk through, and hash out, everything.  Something I have seen work is having a state of the union discussion about the relationship at least once a year, maybe on the couple’s anniversary.

Money if often the biggest hot button issue with couples, so don’t feel like you’re alone in this.  

Unfortunately, regardless of how evil you feel money is, the only way most things happen in life is if you have the financial resources to make them happen.

Everyone’s relationship to money is unique to them.  There are very wealthy people who hate spending money and get really upset if they have to pay $10 for parking. (My spouse is a horrible tipper whilst I am more generous.  We solved that issue by deciding that if you are paying the bill, you decide the tip).  We all can admit that we usually have an idea of someone’s approach to money from the first few dates.   I call it their financial DNA. You recognize it from their restaurant selection, what kind of tipper they are, etc.  I see it with clients all the time, there is one spouse worried about every dime and the other who is happy to spend.  You cannot and will not change someone’s feelings about money.  Usually it has a lot to do with their family situation growing up.  What I have seen work is to, again, know your numbers.  If you know your numbers then you will be able to make informed decisions and talk about what is acceptable individually and collectively.  This is usually why having your own accounts makes the most sense as opposed to combining everything.  It makes you feel less like everything you spend on is in the spotlight and must be accounted for to the other spouse.  

I have even seen non-working spouses being paid a salary by the working spouse so that they can have independence.  One couple even went so far as to have the non-working spouse paid a salary and bonus, taxes and all included.   We can use celebrity prenups as examples (because they are usually made public when a divorce occurs) to see what some arrangements look like.  Examples are lump sum for each year of marriage, percentage ownership in a business if started during the marriage, etc.

Some other issues are:

  • Schooling  - private/public and this includes local vs. boarding school.  

  • Where to live.  Women tend to want to be close to their families especially when they have children.

  • Family, especially if a spouse is supporting members of his/her family financially.

Dating & Finance (Part 2)

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Tough conversations for couples can vary depending on their specific circumstances, but one theme that we hear about regularly is MONEY. Over 50% of couples do not communicate anything about finances. According to AICPA research, nearly three in four (73%) married or cohabitating Americans say financial decisions are a source of tension in their relationship. 

Let’s get real….hashing out finances, including budgeting, spending habits, debts, and long-term financial goals, can be very challenging. These discussions may include decisions about joint bank accounts, saving for the future, or managing financial disparities between partners, among other things.

At Linx, we see this is as a heavily recurring theme in our couples and have taken the initiative to recruit a top SF Bay Area-based financial professional to answer some questions and provide general guidance on navigating potential landmines.  Our expert works in private wealth management and brings deep experience and a broad perspective to relationships with a select group of families, individuals, and entrepreneurs of all backgrounds, ages, and stages in their lives. 

Q: Do you recommend that newly married couples merge their finances or keep them separate?

A:  I personally recommend a combo.  Assuming, from Part 1 of this series, that you both “know your numbers,” then when you start living together, whether it’s pre-marriage or upon being married, there should be a healthy discussion about the household budget.  It should list all the expenses, and how and who will finance them.  A good step forward might be keeping your finances as is, but also opening a joint account, the so-called household account, where each person deposits a portion of the monthly expenses (rent/mortgage, food, dining out, utilities, car, insurance, etc.).   This division should reflect what each person can realistically afford and should include a discussion about what types of expenses require a joint decision (e.g. buying a car, getting a pet).  This allows everyone to keep their autonomy, credit history, etc. but allows each party to contribute to the household budget in a prudent manner.  

Keep in mind, this process can also flesh out all kinds of emotional issues around money – for example, maybe one partner feels strongly about bearing more financial burden whereas the other handles other household responsibilities.   But no matter what, the idea is to open the lines of communication, early on, about any issues around finances to avoid trouble down the road.

Q:  Can you explain what prenup and postnup agreements are and what the potential benefits might be?

 

Prenup

Using a definition from the dictionary, a prenup is an agreement made by a couple before they marry concerning the ownership of their respective assets should the marriage fail.  Here is the legal explanation courtesy of Wikipedia

A prenup is used to provide clarity to couples as to what would happen to their assets if the marriage fails.  There are many reasons for a prenup.   Some people are required to have prenups because of the legal structures of their family or work situations (e.g. trusts, partnerships, etc.) That said, I think everyone should have a prenup no matter your asset level because it provides clarity as to what will happen if you do decide to separate.  Money does strange things to people and the time to think through and decide such matters is at the beginning of the relationship when both parties tend to be calm and rational vs. at the end, when hurt or seeking revenge.

Postnup

Again, courtesy of Wikipedia

Postnups are usually used because the financial situation of the couple has changed drastically since marriage, even if they have a prenup in place.  Examples could be that one of the spouses decides to stay home with the children to allow the other spouse to achieve their career objectives, or a spouse is invited into a work partnership and the existing partners of that entity seek assurance that the Partnership will not have to be dissolved in order to ‘cash out’ a Partner who is divorcing.  We often hear about postnups from celebrities… even one surrounding an ex-President and his wife.  It’s all about providing clarity ahead of time in case of the dissolution of the marriage.

Bigger picture, I honestly believe in prenups and even postnups as they increase transparency and reduce uncertainty which, even if awkward in any way, can pay huge dividends down the road financially and emotionally.  The wealthier the couple either individually or collectively, the more detailed a prenup agreement should be.  You can look to qualified legal counsel and financial advisors for ideas.  Postnups become necessary if, say, one partner decides to stay home with the kids and is no longer contributing financially.  This does not diminish their worth because usually they contribute in every other way to make sure that their spouse is able to be successful – e.g. their time, volunteering, showing really well as a partner at work events, looking after children, the dogs, etc.)