How To Deal With Being Single and Feeling Lonely

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Going solo can have its benefits—freedom, flexibility and "me-time"—but it's easy to feel lonely. But fear not: research reveals that loneliness is a universal emotion many of us experience from time to time. That said, there are plenty of things you can do while riding the single wave so don't be afraid to practice some selfcare. Connecting with yourself and others will help ease those lonesome feelings until your next relationship comes along.

Embrace solitude

Taking time to be alone can open up opportunities for self-reflection and personal development. Use this opportunity to evaluate all aspects of your life, craft achievable goals, or work on inspiring projects. Embracing solitude helps cultivate a sense of independence while also making it easier not to feel lonely in the future. 

Connect with others

While solitude can be beneficial, it's also important to invest in relationships. Whether it's through friends, family, or community, spending time with others can help you feel less lonely and more connected. Trying new group activities will bring you closer to people who share similar interests.

Pursue your passions

If you want to feel more alive and connected, try unleashing your passions! From painting masterpieces to playing music or writing stories - when we explore our hobbies with enthusiasm it can help us create a purposeful life that's filled with joy. So don't be afraid; reach out for the things you love and make them part of who you are.

Volunteer

Volunteering is a great way to give back to your community, meet new people, and make a positive impact in the world. You'll feel good knowing that you're making a difference, and you'll also meet new people who share your values and interests.

Travel

Packing your bags for a new destination can infuse your life with wonder and gratitude. It’s a great way to experience new cultures, meet new people, and get out of your comfort zone. Whether it's a solo trip or a group tour, traveling can be a great way to push you out of your comfort zone and broaden your horizons.

Adopt a pet

Bringing a new four-legged critter home has immense benefits. In a recent study concerning loneliness, studies that were conducted after the outbreak of COVID-19 mostly showed that pet ownership can contribute to lower levels of loneliness. Pets can provide us with unconditional love and comfort, and they can also be great companions. Just make sure you're ready for the responsibilities that come with pet ownership.

Start a gratitude practice

Sometimes, feeling lonely can be a result of focusing on what we don't have instead of what we do have. Starting a gratitude practice can help you shift your focus to the good things in your life and to feel more content and fulfilled.

Embracing your single life doesn't have to be lonely. Instead of fretting, find ways to fill the time with meaningful moments and personal growth. Reach out to friends, lean into hobbies or interests you've been wanting to try. Embrace the power of solitude, reach out to trusted friends or acquaintances, ignite your passions with activities that bring joy into your life; most importantly take care of yourself. With patience and openness comes contentment in every season – including being unattached.

Why Do Some People Struggle With Love While Others Make It Look Easy?

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

When it comes to love, some people just seem to have all the luck. They effortlessly attract partners who adore them, enjoy long-lasting relationships, and end up happily ever after. So, what's their secret? Is it a matter of fate, or is there something more to it?

You’ll notice that most of the “lucky ones” maintain a positive attitude; they have a strong sense of self-worth and radiate positivity, making them extra attractive. As they say, “attitude is everything” and it really does make all the difference. If you believe you deserve love, are lovable and that love is looking for you, chances are you’ll end up putting yourself into new situations and meeting more people with more openness.  

How would you ever know you’re lucky if you didn’t take any risk? “Lucky ones” are not afraid to get uncomfortable, so they’re more likely to approach an attractive stranger or agree to a blind date. This curiosity fast-tracks social skills and makes it easier for them to know when they’ve met someone special. Like a positive attitude, the adventurous spirit is also something extremely attractive to others.

You’re more likely to end up lucky in love if you have a clear picture of what that loving relationship looks like. Lucky people tend to have a clear idea of what they want in a partner and relationship—and can communicate openly about it. They’re aware of their values, goals, and priorities, and don’t compromise. They aren’t afraid to walk away from a relationship that does not align with their vision of the future.  

Lastly, lucky people tend to have a healthy relationship with themselves. They have a strong sense of identity and purpose outside of their relationships, which helps them maintain their own identity and a healthy balance between their personal and romantic lives. This healthy sense of self allows them to approach their relationships with a greater sense of self-awareness and emotional maturity, which can lead to more fulfilling connections.

Of course, there is an element of luck in love, but I believe we can create our own luck. Certain traits like a positive attitude, willingness to take risks, and a strong relationship with self can help us find the right person. 

Why You Should Date Outside Your Type

What is a type

Listening to someone describes their type, you will often hear descriptions of physical characteristics (e.g., height, eye color, hair color, etc.) commonly superseding any personality traits (e.g., interests, passions, hobbies) mentioned. People frequently chase a specific type and will exclusively seek out this type when dating. But does the type they're pursuing really make sense for them? People can overlook certain non-favorable traits in a potential romantic partner if they fall into their "perfect type," hoping the rest of the desirable characteristics will develop later on. This approach of solely dating the same type can render unhealthy dating patterns.

Having a Type vs. Having Basic Criteria 

It's normal to have a few basic core elements of what you desire in your future partner- that could be race, age, religion, or specific personality traits but beyond that, chemistry is entirely elusive, and you must be OPEN to love in all shapes and forms. Closing yourself off to possibilities when someone is outside your standard type is a surefire way to limit your dating experience. Acknowledge your pattern, its current success rate, and ultimately if searching outside your type could greatly benefit your dating life. 

How to Break The Pattern 

When dating, having a consistent pattern that has always left you with the seemingly wrong type doesn't break without a conscious effort. Breaking the pattern begins with expanding your scope of thinking to pursue other types of romantic partners as an exciting experience. A willingness to be mentally and romantically open to the uncertainty of someone outside your typical type could bring the perfect match.  

As a professional Matchmaker for around 20 years, some of my most brilliant matches have been outliers. In other words, my clients took a chance and were willing to deviate from their total ideal match criteria, and when they kept an open mind and heart, that was the moment they met the love of their life!

What Are Some Red Flags to Look for When Dating Someone New?

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Red flags come in all shapes and sizes, from subtle hints that something isn't quite right between the two of you, to more obvious signs that should make you stop and take notice. In this blog post we'll explore some red flags which could indicate trouble is brewing in your budding romance—so read on and arm yourself with knowledge.

Lack of communication 

Effective communication is a cornerstone of any successful relationship. If your partner refuses to share their thoughts and feelings with you, or if they're uninterested in hearing yours, this could be an indicator that the connection isn't as strong as it needs to be for lasting success. Without clear dialogue between partners, true intimacy can’t flourish—look out for signs that conversations are falling on deaf ears.

Always talking about themselves 

A successful relationship requires more than just one person's devotion; both partners must make a conscious effort to be engaged and show respect for the other. If you're noticing that your date talks without pause about themselves, it could be an indication they aren't interested in a balanced give-and-take dynamic where both of you are heard.

Possessiveness  

Possessiveness can be a slippery slope, often disguised as love. From wanting to know your every move and what you're wearing to trying to dictate who's in or out of your life - this controlling behavior needs watching for warning signs that it might turn into something more damaging down the line.

Jealousy 

A little jealousy can be cute, but excessive jealousy is a huge red flag. If your partner is constantly accusing you of cheating or interrogating you about your whereabouts, it's time to reevaluate the relationship. Jealousy can also lead to controlling behavior and can be a sign of deeper issues like insecurity or possessiveness.

A lot of talk about the ex

If your date is constantly bringing up their ex, that's a red flag. It could indicate that they're not over their past relationship or that they're still holding onto resentment. Either way, it's not a good sign for your future together.

Insecurity 

This is one of the most dangerous threats to a relationship, manifesting as jealousy and possessiveness which erode trust between partners. Look for signs like belittling behavior or an overly low sense of self-worth in your spouse - these could signal insecurity that needs to be addressed before it takes hold over your connection with them.

Dishonesty

Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship, and if your partner is constantly lying to you, it's a major red flag. Whether it's about small things like where they were last night or big things like their financial situation, dishonesty can erode trust and make it difficult to build a healthy relationship.

Anger issues

If your partner has a quick temper and frequently loses their cool, it's a red flag. This type of behavior can escalate into physical or emotional abuse and can make it difficult for  your partner to have a healthy relationship.​

Lack of empathy

If your partner seems incapable of putting themselves in your shoes and understanding your feelings, it's a red flag. This type of behavior can make it difficult for your partner to have a healthy relationship and can also indicate a lack of emotional intelligence. 

It's important to be aware of the red flags that can signal trouble in a relationship. Whether it's lack of communication, controlling behavior, or dishonesty, these red flags can be warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Remember that these red flags can sometimes be signs of deeper issues and that your date hasn’t yet processed or addressed. Just remember to trust your instincts, be honest with yourself, and seek help if you need it, and you'll be able to navigate the dating world with confidence.

Discussing Sexual History Before Sleeping Together

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Talking about your sexual history before sleeping together is an important part of developing a healthy relationship. Spearheading this conversation will help you both understand each other better and build trust in the relationship, but it’s not always easy to talk about something so intimate—especially if you have different views or expectations. However, if you’re looking for a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship, conversation is the first step. Here are some tips on how to approach and discuss your sexual history with your partner before getting intimate.

Before discussing such a sensitive subject, set the right time and place for it. Find a quiet spot where there won’t be any distractions or interruptions so that both of you can focus on having an open conversation without feeling rushed or uncomfortable. Maybe prepare a mental outline of everything you want to cover in advance. Though it might seem less than romantic, a bit of structure to this discussion can help you both feel more at ease.

Having a conversation about your sexual history can help you and your partner make informed decisions around sexually transmitted infections (STIs). It’s crucial to be aware of each other’s sexual health status and history to ensure that you’re both taking the appropriate precautions. Having an honest conversation about health history is a sign of respect for yourself and for your partner; if you are sensing judgement or your partner is making you feel alone in the conversation, it might be for the best to delay physical intimacy until you can communicate with more openness.

Of course discussing sexual history isn’t always easy and requires a little more sensitivity. Try starting with your own sexual history and share as much detail as you would hope to receive. You might open with something like, “I’d like to take things in a more physical direction, but I just want to check in with you about what that means for me. I want to prioritize our health, so if you feel the same, let’s find some time to talk.” You taking the initiative around the subject will help set the tone for an open and honest discussion and give your partner the space to share their own experiences.

Everyone’s sexual history is different, and it’s important not to judge your partner based on their past experiences. Everyone has their own unique journey when it comes to sex and how they define sexually satisfying experiences.

If the conversation is heading in an uncomfortable direction, set boundaries and be clear about your comfort level. If there are certain topics or experiences that you’re not comfortable discussing, it’s okay to express say something like, “I think we’re in a place where I feel comfortable moving forward physically. I don’t think additional details will help us build a stronger relationship.”

Though tricky, communicating openly and honestly with your partners and prioritizing your own physical and emotional well-being will help pave the way for deeper relationships— physically and emotionally.