The Power of a Strong Network

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating


“Your network is your net worth.” – Porter Gale, author and former VP of Marketing at Virgin America

In the professional world, we often talk about the importance of building a strong network for career growth, new opportunities, and personal development. But, sometimes, the connections we make can lead to something even more extraordinary—finding a life partner.

I recently witnessed a beautiful example of this when two incredible individuals, each with their own goals and dreams, crossed paths through my network.

Several years ago, my friend and fellow matchmaker, Shannon Lundgren of Shannon’s Circle reached out to me, wondering if I had any potential matches for her client Douglas and went on to share his ideal match criteria with me.  

Remarkably, a name popped into my head - Peggy - someone whom I had screened as a prospect many years before, who had really made a lasting impression on me.  I remember sitting on the couch with her, feeling her grace, huge heart, gentle spirit and kindness.  I didn’t even need to do a database search because I knew instantly that she would be the one.

Sure enough, I contacted her, found out she was still single, and we proceeded to make the introduction.

What started as a simple connection, for this extraordinary couple, quickly blossomed into something deeper, and today, they stand side by side as partners in life, having tied the

knot here in the Bay Area this last weekend.

This story is a powerful reminder that our networks are more than just career tools; they are communities of people who can bring unexpected joy and fulfillment into our lives.

I will never forget when Peggy brought me a dancing stuffed birthday bear toy for my newborn baby boy all those years ago, soon after I had given birth. It was a token of her appreciation and cemented a lasting, positive impression.

As the great Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

So, to everyone out there building connections, remember—your network might just help you find more than a new job or opportunity. It might help you find the person who will walk beside you on life’s journey. 💍❤️

Ask Amy: How Do I Overcome Romantic Rejection

Question:

(Man, 32, San Francisco) [Single- actively dating]

Hi Amy- Putting myself out there was easy. Keeping myself out there is turning out to be harder. I recently went out with a lovely woman and, after the third date, she decided we weren’t a match. I thought everything was going well, so I’m confused to say the least. What do you think? Do I ask her what happened or should I just move on? 

Andersen Advice:

Oh yes, dating can definitely feel like a roller coaster. You aren’t alone when it comes to the highs and lows. The excitement of new love can feel like walking on clouds, but when you get rejected or ghosted, it can trigger a lot of uncomfortable feelings that lead to questions like “Am I good enough?” or “What is the point of dating anyway?” Depending on the rejection, the feelings can linger and lead to heavy blues. Let’s take a closer look at rejection and figure out how to manage it better.

To explain rejection fully, you need to understand that there is a chemical reaction happening in the background that directly impacts your mood and perspective. When we hear someone say they aren’t interested, the body releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline—the same hormones that cause the "fight or flight" response. Your body might start sweating or your heart might start beating fast. This stress response is how the body copes with a perceived threat. In this case, rejection is a threat to our self-esteem. 

When the stress hormones fade away, you can count on the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that regulates emotions and makes decisions, to get activated. The level of emotional response varies depending on your personality, but it’s highly likely that you’ll experience sadness, anger, or frustration. Additionally, the mesolimbic system, or the brain's reward system, which is responsible for pleasure and motivation, is also impacted by rejection and can leave you feeling tired and unmotivated.

I understand how disheartening it can be to get turned down in the dating game. It can feel like you're not good enough, that there's something wrong with you, or that love just isn't in the cards for you. When I have clients going through rejection, I try to help them reframe. 

Approach rejection as an exchange of information, not a reflection of your worth. When someone turns you down, it’s not that you weren’t good enough, it’s that you two were not the right fit. As much as the message may sting in the moment, it is a gift that will allow you to move on with your life faster and find a better fit for you. 

Getting the love you want is a journey, and it takes time. Instead of dwelling on the rejection, get excited about what’s in store. Focus on the relationship you want and behave the way you’d want to be treated. When you are firm on your standards and clear on what’s important to you, you are more likely to attract people who share your values.

Most importantly, don't give up on love! It's easy to feel discouraged after getting turned down, but remember that every "no" brings you one step closer to a "yes". Keep putting yourself out there, keep meeting new people, and stay true to your standards. Love is out there for you.

Affectionately yours,

Amy

Client Testimonial: Retired 60-Something Lawyer

Every day, I am reminded of the incredible privilege I have as a matchmaker to work with matters as sensitive and profound as the heart.

It's a journey that requires trust, empathy, and a deep understanding of each person's unique story.

Today, I'm excited to share a heartfelt testimonial from one of our wonderful clients at Linx Dating.

“As an initial matter, it's important to understand my starting point. When you and I first began working together, I was just approaching the first anniversary of my wife's death. We'd been married and in love for more than three decades. I knew I wouldn't be able to build a new life for myself without a partner, but hadn't been on a "date" since the early 1980's. I knew absolutely nothing about how to find a life partner, and heard nothing but horror stories about online dating apps.

Working with you has been an enormous accelerator to my efforts. Beyond the good advice you shared, your referrals to other service providers in your network (e.g., photos and wardrobe building) have proven to be invaluable.

As I write this, I'm now seeing (on an "exclusive" basis) a woman you introduced about 7 months ago. She's warm, smart, interesting, attractive and serious about creating a genuine relationship. Most importantly, I'm happy when I'm with her. It's still too early to know if she's "the one," but I do know that I'd never have met her without your introduction.

Over the last year, you've introduced a substantial number of women. To be sure, some were quite far from a perfect fit. But a surprisingly high percentage were very impressive. Perhaps most importantly, they were all looking for a serious relationship and many had tried-and-quit online dating.

I've had fun/interesting dates with women I'd never have met otherwise.

At this point in my "journey," a key component of my daily personal happiness is the knowledge that, even if things don't work out with the woman I'm currently seeing, you stand ready to make new introductions.

A few words of caution/advice for your prospective clients. Seeking a life partner is pretty much the perfect opposite of purchasing a commodity. You can't get ahead of the curve by doing research, reading reviews and simply being willing to spend money. At the end of the day, you're looking for the "magic" that makes two people enjoy each other's company and live well together. Finding that is, first and foremost, a numbers game. You've got to be willing to meet lots of women . . . and keep an open mind/heart while you're doing so. I've met many women over the last year who would make fantastic friends. But only one woman who seems like a good fit as a romantic partner. Taking into consideration how rare "magic" really is, that shouldn't come as a surprise. Beyond numbers, you must stay focused on what truly matters. Everyone has their "negatives." It's incredibly easy to find reasons to reject a potential partner, and incredibly easy to lose sight of how rare and valuable a "magic" connection is. When the magic strikes, you've got to be ready with an open heart and the willingness to make a relationship work.

I'm very glad we're working together.”

Member Spotlight: Caring and Adventurous Gentleman

We are thrilled to introduce our new client, a dynamic and athletic gentleman searching for an adventurous mate to share life's journey.

Are you at home in the mountains but equally comfortable in an evening dress?  Are you into real adventure? Our bachelor is 59, stands a tall 6’0" and is very athletic... hazel eyes and a full head of salt and pepper hair who looks considerably younger than his age.  He’s lived in Europe and is considering splitting time between there and his current home in Tahoe.  Or perhaps somewhere else entirely.

While technically a real estate developer, he has prioritized life experience,  first for his two (now-grown and launched) children and now with you.  While currently quite busy with a small portfolio of development projects, his hope is to make that a little more part time in the not too distant future 

This UC Berkeley Engineering graduate eschewed the normal path and became a ski bum for a couple of years. Learned to rock climb (climbed El Cap twice, among other notables) and had some epic adventures before starting his career.

His life’s next adventure was a 20+ year marriage (faithful and steady) with two wonderful children.  He threw himself into fatherhood – being a coach, a referee, school board chair at an acclaimed charter school and later at the kid’s ski academy high school.  While professionally successful, he prioritized family over business and created the life he wanted. 

He’s an avid cook and loves to entertain small groups of friends and family.  He tries to do a lot of reading in between all of  the other activities.  Full disclosure - he’s not a good guitar player, but tries.  Loves live music and travel for just about any compelling reason. Comfortable in jeans around a campfire but looks pretty good in his tuxedo as well.

Your bachelor’s personality is caring, creative, tenacious, and self-reflective.  He always seeks to learn from all of life’s lessons to be the best version of himself. Most that know him comment about his unrelenting optimism, deep empathy, and high EQ.  Since his divorce 5 years ago, he has pursued personal growth, different modalities of therapy.  While far from perfect, he has emerged an honest, emotionally available, whole person. In 30 years he wants to be still so obviously in love with his partner that it’s annoyingly cute.  

His best suited match is between the ages of 39-59 years old. She’s fit, athletic, and supremely comfortable in her own skin.  She is well traveled, worldly, intentional, empathetic, and strong enough to take the lead but confident enough to follow too.  She relishes in the idea of rock climbing with her guy or back country skiing, mountain biking, or paddle boarding. 

Camping, van life, cooking by fireside….this is exciting to her.  Life is a grand adventure and she’s excited to find her forever partner to ride through the journey together.  Ideally his dream partner has the flexibility to travel, so if she has kids, they are independent self-sufficient souls.   There are no fees for qualifying candidates.  Please email: amy@linxdating.com if you’re intrigued by what you’ve read.  

What Linx Members are Saying...

We are thrilled to share some heartwarming feedback from one of our members of the Linx Dating database. Recently matched with a client, her experience underscores the dedication and success of our team. Her words of appreciation not only affirm our mission but also ignite our excitement for the future as we continue to create meaningful connections. Read on to learn more about her journey and the positive impact of being part of the Linx Dating Database.

“Amy is absolutely incredible. You can really tell she is pouring her heart and soul into what she does; this feels like her life's work rather than just a business. It was particularly apparent with the giddy sense of curiosity she seemed to feel right before I went on my first date with the wonderful gentleman she matched me with. I could just tell her excitement and that she knew this would be good and that she couldn't wait to see the outcome. I felt that she was so invested in us. She supported me all the way through, helping me with advice on what to wear when I asked and calming me down when he didn't text right away (lol) - all in just such a friendly genuine way that more than anything gave me so much confidence and made me believe more in myself.

What perhaps impressed me the most with Amy is her unbelievable sense of intuition. I had been in her data base for a few months when her team reached out letting me know they had a potential match for me. Her wonderful chief of staff Dani and later Amy herself spoke through the match and highlighted things about him that they felt were a great fit for me. I was really taken aback - the entire time I was like, how do you know this about me! Amy would then point to the tiniest things I wrote in my profile and say things like, "see because you said X, I figured Y was the case". She is so absolutely brilliant in her understanding of humanity.

The match she set up was without question one of the best first dates of my life. The chemistry was there and instant and I can't wait to go out with the guy again!

I am in awe of who Amy is and what she has built. Having met her and experienced what she did for me, I'm not surprised in the slightest that she's matched the who's who in the tech industry and beyond, and that they call her Silicon Valley's Cupid.

Anyone who is busy and frustrated with today's dating landscape ... you'd be amiss not to give Amy a shot. She's made dating fun again.

Thank you Amy :)”