20 Years of Linx

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

As we commemorate our 20th successful year in business at Linx Dating. This is a moment to reflect on the incredible journey that has established us as the pre-eminent matchmaker in our space. Over the past two decades, we have had the pleasure and privilege of bringing countless couples together, helping them find meaningful and lasting connections. Our commitment to personalized matchmaking and our deep understanding of human relationships have been the cornerstones of our success.

Linx Dating has always prided itself on blending the art of intuitive matchmaking with the more analytical science of behavioral compatibility. Our meticulous approach involves understanding the unique needs, desires, and values of each individual. Through our bespoke service, we have created an environment where relationships can flourish, and our success stories are a testament to this dedication. From the first consultation “meet and greet”, to the moment our clients find their perfect match, we are with them every step of the way, offering support, guidance, and white glove service. 

As Founder and CEO, I reflect with immense pride on the very early days of having started my business. It all began by reaching out to a few contacts whom I knew aligned with the core Linx brand – dynamic, successful, highly educated, motivated, Bay Area based, and marriage-minded. A matchmaker has nothing to go on without a deep and powerful network. 

These keystone contacts opened up their respective rolodexes by offering me powerful connections to their like-minded single colleagues and friends. Slowly, I began taking all of these new contacts onboard, for free, so I could build a network, try to validate what I was attempting to do (play matchmaker to Silicon Valley’s elite), and build brand awareness and maintain a strong reputation. That was no small feat…those first five years set the entire blueprint for Linx Dating’s DNA. Eventually, prospects offered to compensate me for introductions, so as to get more attention and faster results, and the real business was born.

In the early days, the business was primarily an “offline” business, and all prospects ended up in my files, paying for memberships to be matched to each other. Remarkably, I was working off of index note cards and paper files (truly!) until my advisors finally insisted that I invest in building a database, which I did! 😊 

When the business was about 10 years old, I took a serious look at our trajectory. Though we had been responsible for hundreds of exclusive relationships and dozens of engagements and marriages, we realized we could be better in two key ways and have worked to capitalize accordingly:

1. BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF OUR CLIENTS

The market was telling me that there were really two basic types of clients… one group was very “active,” looking for guaranteed numbers of matches over a set time period and willing to pay accordingly. The other group was more “passive,” not looking to pay for matchmaking services, but willing to accept no guarantees and instead be ready and willing to be matched if they were a fit to be matched to one of my active clients.  

Furthermore, within the realm of active clients, the VIP Membership category was born. For 5-10 of these members per year, Linx began to take on a role similar to a corporate executive recruiter, searching outside its own database to recruit prospects. In fact, now, our primary focus is representing a small elite group of ultra-successful individuals who desire a completely heightened approach to changing the course of their personal lives.

2. BETTER USE OF TECHNOLOGY

Though Linx had been tapping its vast, highly coveted network to search for matches within a database, Linx has recently led the matchmaking industry’s charge into technology via the AI capabilities it has built into the matchmaking process, allowing quick and efficient access to the right prospects buried in its robust database and also to better recruit outside the existing network for new prospects.  

As an example of the latter, Linx has taken a very intentional, unique, and organic approach to social media and use of its website “real estate” by filming fun skits to provide tactical dating tips and approaches for our followers and featuring our VIP member profiles in various pages, spotlights and campaigns to highlight who they are and what they seek in a perfect match.

As a result of these growth initiatives, my business has grown from a small shop out of Silicon Valley to a global brand representing some of the world’s most desirable single men and women, and that has been featured in some of the world’s top media print, video, and audio outlets. I still do not advertise, nor have I relied on that as a way to grow my brand.  

With all of that said, in an industry that has seen rapid changes, Linx has remained steadfast in its mission to create authentic and meaningful connections. While apps and algorithms may facilitate meetings and drive growth, we believe that the human touch is irreplaceable when it comes to true matchmaking. 

Dating & Finance (Part 3)

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Tough conversations for couples can vary depending on their specific circumstances, but one theme that we hear about regularly is MONEY. Over 50% of couples do not communicate anything about finances. According to AICPA research, nearly three in four (73%) married or cohabitating Americans say financial decisions are a source of tension in their relationship. 

Let’s get real….hashing out finances, including budgeting, spending habits, debts, and long-term financial goals, can be very challenging. These discussions may include decisions about joint bank accounts, saving for the future, or managing financial disparities between partners, among other things.

At Linx, we see this is as a heavily recurring theme in our couples and have taken the initiative to recruit a top SF Bay Area-based financial professional to answer some questions and provide general guidance on navigating potential landmines.  Our expert works in private wealth management and brings deep experience and a broad perspective to relationships with a select group of families, individuals, and entrepreneurs of all backgrounds, ages, and stages in their lives. 

Q: I know that you represent high net worth families, individuals, and entrepreneurs. I would imagine that you have encountered situations where two individuals in a romantic relationship love each other, but might be forced to address a significant disparity in financial income, assets, or both?  How does one bring up this topic with ease and confidence?  

A:  Not to sound like a broken record, but we are back to knowing your numbers.

If everyone knows their numbers and is forthright about their numbers, then household financial planning can proceed in a thoughtful manner, taking into account what each person can afford and reflecting any disparities in income or assets.  The realities of life require this planning and create a natural “excuse,” if one is even needed, to have any hard, adult discussions.

Ambiguity is what usually breeds resentment and causes problems.  It’s hard not to be resentful if you are spending what you cannot afford to keep up with a wealthier partner.  Moreover, if a wealthier partner cannot understand that, then you have a major red flag in the relationship.  Even with that said, if a wealthier partner starts receiving unrealistic financial demands from the less wealthy partner, then that is an equally big red flag.  Perhaps worst of all, if a partner is not receptive to hashing these issues out with you, even if awkward or difficult, that could be the biggest red flag of all.

Q: In your experience, what are some other “hot button” issues for a newly exclusive or recently married couple?     Are there any stories or scenarios you can cite from your practice that could be beneficial as “lessons learned” for our readers?

A: Communication is super important.  

I watch a couple’s body language all the time when we are planning or doing portfolio reviews.  You usually can tell which ones have a healthy relationship by how they communicate.  Strangely the ones that argue the most (respectfully on both sides of course) are usually the ones with the strongest relationship.  They talk through, and hash out, everything.  Something I have seen work is having a state of the union discussion about the relationship at least once a year, maybe on the couple’s anniversary.

Money if often the biggest hot button issue with couples, so don’t feel like you’re alone in this.  

Unfortunately, regardless of how evil you feel money is, the only way most things happen in life is if you have the financial resources to make them happen.

Everyone’s relationship to money is unique to them.  There are very wealthy people who hate spending money and get really upset if they have to pay $10 for parking. (My spouse is a horrible tipper whilst I am more generous.  We solved that issue by deciding that if you are paying the bill, you decide the tip).  We all can admit that we usually have an idea of someone’s approach to money from the first few dates.   I call it their financial DNA. You recognize it from their restaurant selection, what kind of tipper they are, etc.  I see it with clients all the time, there is one spouse worried about every dime and the other who is happy to spend.  You cannot and will not change someone’s feelings about money.  Usually it has a lot to do with their family situation growing up.  What I have seen work is to, again, know your numbers.  If you know your numbers then you will be able to make informed decisions and talk about what is acceptable individually and collectively.  This is usually why having your own accounts makes the most sense as opposed to combining everything.  It makes you feel less like everything you spend on is in the spotlight and must be accounted for to the other spouse.  

I have even seen non-working spouses being paid a salary by the working spouse so that they can have independence.  One couple even went so far as to have the non-working spouse paid a salary and bonus, taxes and all included.   We can use celebrity prenups as examples (because they are usually made public when a divorce occurs) to see what some arrangements look like.  Examples are lump sum for each year of marriage, percentage ownership in a business if started during the marriage, etc.

Some other issues are:

• Schooling  - private/public and this includes local vs. boarding school.  

• Where to live.  Women tend to want to be close to their families especially when they have children.

• Family, especially if a spouse is supporting members of his/her family financially.

Dating & Finance (Part 2)

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Tough conversations for couples can vary depending on their specific circumstances, but one theme that we hear about regularly is MONEY. Over 50% of couples do not communicate anything about finances. According to AICPA research, nearly three in four (73%) married or cohabitating Americans say financial decisions are a source of tension in their relationship. 

Let’s get real….hashing out finances, including budgeting, spending habits, debts, and long-term financial goals, can be very challenging. These discussions may include decisions about joint bank accounts, saving for the future, or managing financial disparities between partners, among other things.

At Linx, we see this is as a heavily recurring theme in our couples and have taken the initiative to recruit a top SF Bay Area-based financial professional to answer some questions and provide general guidance on navigating potential landmines.  Our expert works in private wealth management and brings deep experience and a broad perspective to relationships with a select group of families, individuals, and entrepreneurs of all backgrounds, ages, and stages in their lives. 

Q: Do you recommend that newly married couples merge their finances or keep them separate?

A:  I personally recommend a combo.  Assuming, from Part 1 of this series, that you both “know your numbers,” then when you start living together, whether it’s pre-marriage or upon being married, there should be a healthy discussion about the household budget.  It should list all the expenses, and how and who will finance them.  A good step forward might be keeping your finances as is, but also opening a joint account, the so-called household account, where each person deposits a portion of the monthly expenses (rent/mortgage, food, dining out, utilities, car, insurance, etc.).   This division should reflect what each person can realistically afford and should include a discussion about what types of expenses require a joint decision (e.g. buying a car, getting a pet).  This allows everyone to keep their autonomy, credit history, etc. but allows each party to contribute to the household budget in a prudent manner.  

Keep in mind, this process can also flesh out all kinds of emotional issues around money – for example, maybe one partner feels strongly about bearing more financial burden whereas the other handles other household responsibilities.   But no matter what, the idea is to open the lines of communication, early on, about any issues around finances to avoid trouble down the road.

Q:  Can you explain what prenup and postnup agreements are and what the potential benefits might be?

 

Prenup

Using a definition from the dictionary, a prenup is an agreement made by a couple before they marry concerning the ownership of their respective assets should the marriage fail.  Here is the legal explanation courtesy of Wikipedia

A prenup is used to provide clarity to couples as to what would happen to their assets if the marriage fails.  There are many reasons for a prenup.   Some people are required to have prenups because of the legal structures of their family or work situations (e.g. trusts, partnerships, etc.) That said, I think everyone should have a prenup no matter your asset level because it provides clarity as to what will happen if you do decide to separate.  Money does strange things to people and the time to think through and decide such matters is at the beginning of the relationship when both parties tend to be calm and rational vs. at the end, when hurt or seeking revenge.

Postnup

Again, courtesy of Wikipedia

Postnups are usually used because the financial situation of the couple has changed drastically since marriage, even if they have a prenup in place.  Examples could be that one of the spouses decides to stay home with the children to allow the other spouse to achieve their career objectives, or a spouse is invited into a work partnership and the existing partners of that entity seek assurance that the Partnership will not have to be dissolved in order to ‘cash out’ a Partner who is divorcing.  We often hear about postnups from celebrities… even one surrounding an ex-President and his wife.  It’s all about providing clarity ahead of time in case of the dissolution of the marriage.

Bigger picture, I honestly believe in prenups and even postnups as they increase transparency and reduce uncertainty which, even if awkward in any way, can pay huge dividends down the road financially and emotionally.  The wealthier the couple either individually or collectively, the more detailed a prenup agreement should be.  You can look to qualified legal counsel and financial advisors for ideas.  Postnups become necessary if, say, one partner decides to stay home with the kids and is no longer contributing financially.  This does not diminish their worth because usually they contribute in every other way to make sure that their spouse is able to be successful – e.g. their time, volunteering, showing really well as a partner at work events, looking after children, the dogs, etc.)

Dating & Finance (Part 1)

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Tough conversations for couples can vary depending on their specific circumstances, but one theme that we hear about regularly is MONEY. Over 50% of couples do not communicate anything about finances. According to AICPA research, nearly three in four (73%) married or cohabitating Americans say financial decisions are a source of tension in their relationship. 

Let’s get real….hashing out finances, including budgeting, spending habits, debts, and long-term financial goals, can be very challenging. These discussions may include decisions about joint bank accounts, saving for the future, or managing financial disparities between partners, among other things.

At Linx, we see this is as a heavily recurring theme in our couples and have taken the initiative to recruit a top SF Bay Area-based financial professional to answer some questions and provide general guidance on navigating potential landmines.  Our expert works in private wealth management and brings deep experience and a broad perspective to relationships with a select group of families, individuals, and entrepreneurs of all backgrounds, ages, and stages in their lives. 

Q: Thank you for being here with us today. How do you advise a couple, who is in the courtship stage, to begin bringing up the topic of finances? This subject is so important and one that so often people shy away from, because it’s uncomfortable, scary, or threatening. 

A: I think it first starts with the concept of getting familiar with your actual individual numbers, if you aren’t already.  Knowing your numbers means understanding what your post-tax earnings are (what comes “in”), what your monthly spending is (what goes “out”), and what your assets (property, investments with positive value that you own) and liabilities (and debts, for example) are, if any.  The fancy terms for this are your “income statement” and “balance sheet.”  Only then can you start thinking about your disposable income and begin to have a conversation about finances with anyone.

The finance “conversation,” even if not explicit, starts from the first time you go on a date.  Someone must pay for it!  When you plan for a trip, there should be a conversation as to who will pay for what.  We can often get a good sense of someone’s attitude towards money starting very early on in any relationship.  

Now, if you know your numbers, as you continue to discuss these kinds of couples’ activities, you will be able to decide what you can and cannot afford, what your spending priorities are, and begin to get clear about your partner’s financial situation and priorities. 

It might be less threatening and more organic of a conversation about finances if it naturally evolves as the relationship evolves and you begin to need to make even basic decisions together about navigating these daily realities of life.

Q:  For a single professional woman navigating her future, what should be her top financial priorities? 

A:  Once again, whether it’s a man, woman, or a couple, the top priority is knowing your numbers.  These days, with technology in the palm of our hands on a smart phone, for example, there is simply no excuse for not being able to access your numbers quickly and intuitively.  Every major financial institution (banks and others) provides you with a breakdown of your spending every month if you just learn the app, website, or whatever.  And never forget about taxes!  If you owe taxes each year when you file your taxes, then those should always be factored in.   Without a command of your personal “income statement” and “balance sheet (i.e. an accurate snapshot of your current financial picture) it can be hard to even consider your priorities moving forward, such as spending choices, savings, credit cards/debt, investments/asset allocation, retirement planning, etc.

If you need help with any or all of this, then engage a Financial Advisor who leads with financial planning, as opposed to investing, which might come a bit later.

DateSpot Interview for Matchmakers- Amy Andersen

Photo by: Annie Barnette

Interview By: Carla Swiryn , CEO & Founder of DateSpot

A Note from Amy Andersen: I was thrilled to reconnect with my esteemed colleague and dear friend, Carla Swiryn, for a written interview to shed light on the partnership between Linx Dating and DateSpot (DS).

With some of our clientele intersecting, and other potential clients clearly better suited to one of us, we've forged a harmonious referral relationship where Linx caters to the high end of the market as DateSpot offers matchmaking that is more accessible to the masses. Our collaboration thrives by ensuring that everyone can receive meticulous attention.

This interview delves into the inner workings of my business, sheds light on the dynamics of the matchmaking industry in general, reveals some of the keys to my own marriage success, and highlights numerous experiences I have had with singles navigating the dating landscape.

If you're interested in DateSpot's affordable, pay-per-match process, check it out here and add Amy at Linx as the referrer on signup.

“Ask anyone who is the most elite matchmaker in Northern California, and you will undoubtedly hear Amy’s name. Linx Dating's Founder, Amy Andersen (AA), has been matching high caliber, marriage-minded professionals for over twenty years (since 2003), with a focus on Silicon Valley, though she selectively takes on clients worldwide.

I am proud to say that Linx Dating (www.linxdating.com) was one of DateSpot’s first partners vetted and approved to access our candidate platform (to secure potential matches for their own database). In getting to know her over the years, it’s clear that through her friendly and classy charm, empathy, intuition, responsiveness, humor, and dedication, she has earned one of the highest reputations in the industry.

As the Founder of DateSpot (DS), I had the opportunity to ask her some questions to get to know more about her background, views, and ultra-successful business.

I decided to split her thoughtful answers into two parts - one blog post geared towards matchmakers and the other for singles.

I'm first sharing her answers geared towards matchmakers, so if you’re a professional in the industry or considering becoming one, perk up your ears and check out what she said…

DS: How did you enter the world of matchmaking and when did you know you could do this professionally?

AA: I was living in Silicon Valley in the height of the dot com era and was struck by how the men down in the Valley couldn’t find accessible, attractive, and extraordinary women, and how my female friends up in San Francisco couldn’t find a guy to commit. My idea literally came from pure observation about the dismal dating scene in Silicon Valley and a huge surplus of attractive brainy women in San Francisco.

I initially started matching these groups to each other for free and worked out of a Starbucks or Peets (whichever didn’t eventually kick me out) to save money, and eventually people wanted to pay to get more attention and better service. Then I knew I had a business. I had always loved putting people together and hosting little gatherings and Soirees but never thought I would actually start a matchmaking business until the opportunity in front of me was too good to be true.

DS: What advice do you have for aspiring matchmakers or people considering the occupation?

AA: This can be an extremely fun and rewarding business but also brutally tough to build, scale and differentiate yourself. You need to hugely patient, persistent, focused, and not easily discouraged. And you’d better love (mostly) what you do. Beyond this, you need to have a substantial network of singles already in place or ideas of how to generate a network. I started my business having grown up in the San Francisco Bay Area which helped a lot in the early days of building my network. You also better develop a very thick skin. I think a lot of people think this industry must be all “peaches and cream” working in such a happy business but the reality is we are dealing with extremely sensitive situations, matters of the heart, tough and demanding Clients and beyond this, running a business is really, really hard work. You need to have intuition, people skills, enjoy people of all walks of life and backgrounds, have sensitivities and compassion, not be judgmental, and beyond this some sort of business acumen.

‍DS: What lessons have you learned at Linx that could apply to any business owner?

AA: Start with a relatively narrow focus, super-serve your customers in that niche, and do that part extremely well. The key to success is thinking local versus global. Too many entrepreneurs start their business thinking about global expansion versus staying local and doing the best job you can do in your own market.

The growth will come organically from there. Also, keep all options open and pursue opportunities and relationships that you come across - you never know from where or when those breakthrough moments could come. Take meetings with all sorts of people, keep an open-mind, friendly attitude, and network. Have business cards on you.

There is something really nice about actually handing someone a card (more of an art then days) and taking the time to look at it and keep it in your rolodex of contacts.

DS: Maintaining confidentiality of course, can you share a story or scenario of one of the strangest requests or client searches?

AA: I have had some strange ones - one, in particular, was where a client was seeking a curvy, more voluptuous woman who was a graduate from one specific prestigious University. I am regularly asked by my clients to initially disclose information about them to their match that they might think would be hard to address themselves on a first date - that can be anything from a health condition to a strange preference. I get a lot of practice in the art of awkward conversations. I never judge anyone’s requests or preferences. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

DS: If you could do anything professionally other than matchmaking, what would it be?

AA: Oh I love this question! If it were based on pure passion, I might be a marine biologist, astronaut, dermatologist or do something in art like a crazy artist splashing paint on paint canvases blasting music with apprentices helping me. But as far as translating professional skills, I would probably be a natural in real estate, as I have a great network, and love sales, brokering deals, and designing spaces. I enjoy art, architecture, style, and creating a beautiful living space. I also love helping people achieve their dreams and goals.

DS: Why do you think you've been so successful?

AA: Incessant hard work, dedication and focus, a consistent and honest commitment to the brand that epitomizes me and my business and, perhaps most importantly, some really great luck along the way.

It’s hard for me to believe it’s been over 20 years that I have been running Linx Dating. To be honest, not a day has gone by in the last two decades that I am not thinking about my work. I’ve always had a fire in my belly as an entrepreneur and the flame has only intensified as my business has grown. To me each and every day is exciting. I wake up each morning grateful there is still a demand and thankful for my spectacular clients. I am excited to see how each and every day unfolds and the challenges that come with it. For me it’s still really fun and that’s what keeps me going!

‍DS: How do you think the matchmaking industry has evolved over the past 10 or 20 years?

AA: When I started my business in 2003, the notion of hiring a professional matchmaker definitely raised some eyebrows and was considered slightly taboo and maybe even a little controversial. It wasn’t for everyone and sometimes people back then assumed something was “wrong” with you if you needed to hire a matchmaker.

Fast forward some 20 years later - hiring a matchmaking has become very normalized and one could argue, en vogue. When I first started my business, there were a few key players in the space- mostly the big matchmaking services that were far more commercialized and not a lot of niche based matchmakers available. There were no apps when I started Linx and only a few dating websites like Yahoo Personals, Match, and eHarmony.

‍In the last 10 years, there have been hundreds of niche matchmakers opening shops all across the country and we have seen the rise of countless choices for dating apps. Even with sophisticated dating apps, I find a lot of singles experience real app fatigue are tired of the misrepresentations, the lack of privacy, and the poor odds. As such, I see that dating apps have reinforced the need for personalization and vetting and this is one of the many reasons the matchmaking industry has exploded with growth.

It’s an exciting time to be in the industry and has become a natural resource and obvious choice for many single men and women as compared to some 15-20 years ago.

‍DS: What are your current initiatives?

AA: A heavy focus on super-serving a smaller number of elite VIP clients. My business has evolved to primarily focus on a handful of very specialized, ultra intense VIP searches. It’s the most challenging work in the world in my humble opinion. It’s like having a puzzle and finding the missing piece in the puzzle for the search. My VIP clients basically have this incredible life with all the puzzle pieces lined up from years of hard work and so much success but the one missing piece is their match and life partner. It’s such an honor to get to figure out how to find that missing puzzle piece and when I figure it out for them and the piece fits so uniquely into that giant puzzle that represents my clients extraordinary life, a true miracle has happened. I love love and I love what I do so much!

Amy wanted to end with “Thank you for this opportunity to talk with your network about Linx and matchmaking. I am honored to have spoken to you all today.”

Spoken by a true gracious queen. Thank you, Amy! We look forward to sharing Part 2 for Singles soon!”

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