Dating Advice for Singles

The Biggest Turn-On for Single Women in San Francisco? A Man Who Actually Knows How to Be a Gentleman

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Let’s be honest: in the dating world today, a lot of men are really dropping the ball. But what actually gets a single woman’s heart racing? A man who acts like a gentleman. Yes, that’s right—a guy who’s thoughtful, attentive, and genuinely makes her feel like she’s the only woman in the room.

Here’s the kicker: it's not just about holding the door open or paying for dinner. It’s about showing real interest—not just checking your phone every five minutes or scanning the room for your next option. Women want a man who is present, who looks them in the eye and makes them feel seen and heard. It's about the intentionality of his actions: is he saying what he means? Does he end the night with a clear, confident declaration that he wants to see her again? And not just as a throwaway comment—actually following through.

Oh, and here’s another shocker: men who actually call when they say they will. Sounds simple, right? But so many men miss the mark here, either ghosting or playing the "wait three days" game. Newsflash: if you're genuinely interested, stop acting like you’re some prize to be won and just show it. Be direct, be sincere.

Too many men in San Francisco have bought into the idea that being aloof or playing hard to get is the way to go, but all it really does is leave women frustrated. In an era of mind games and endless options, a man who just treats her well is a breath of fresh air.

So, if you want to get a woman’s attention and keep it, stop trying to be mysterious and start being real. Because being a gentleman? That’s not outdated—it’s actually the ultimate power move.

Want a healthy relationship? It starts with you.

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Want a healthy relationship? It starts with you.

Your Physical Health:
You can’t show up fully for someone else if you’re not taking care of yourself. Eat nourishing foods, move your body daily, and prioritize sleep. Your physical health is the foundation for everything else—when you feel good in your body, everything else falls into place.

Your Mental Health:
Stress and unresolved emotional issues will affect all areas of your life, including your relationships. Learn to manage your stress, get outside and connect with nature, and don’t be afraid to see a therapist if there are emotional wounds you’re still carrying. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health.

Your Finances:
A healthy relationship with money is key to a stable life—and a stable relationship. Get your finances in order by building up savings, paying down any debt, and learning about investing. Feeling secure about your finances will give you peace of mind and help you be a more confident and grounded partner.

Your Job:
No one wants to be around someone who’s constantly complaining about work. If you’re unhappy in your job, start exploring other opportunities. You deserve to be doing work that excites and fulfills you, and being stuck in a job you hate will only drain your energy and affect your overall happiness.

Fun Date Ideas in Berkeley: Fish & Bird Izakaya and Beyond

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Looking for the perfect spot for a fun, intimate date night in Berkeley? Whether you're coming from Marin (just a 35-minute drive away) or are lucky enough to live in the area, you’re in for a treat! Fish & Bird Izakaya offers a vibrant and modern dining experience that’s ideal for a pre-theater dinner or a relaxed night out with someone special. But the fun doesn’t have to stop there—Berkeley offers a variety of date ideas that can easily follow up a great meal.

Start with Dinner at Fish & Bird Izakaya

From the moment you step into Fish & Bird Izakaya, you’re greeted by a chic, modern atmosphere. Striking black drapes, intriguing lighting, and a vibe that’s both relaxed and upscale make this the perfect spot for a cozy yet sophisticated dinner. The friendly staff adds to the welcoming ambiance, making it an easy place to unwind and enjoy a great meal.

The food? Simply outstanding. If you’re a sushi lover, you’re in for a treat. I had five different types of tuna, each one more delicious than the last. For those who prefer something a little more adventurous, the wagyu served on a sizzling platter is a must-try—it’s cooked to perfection and adds a little theatrical flair to your meal.

And don’t forget dessert! The cheesecake is a standout, beautifully crafted by a local chef, while the refreshing sorbet—made by a family-run producer in Japan—is the perfect sweet and tart finale to an unforgettable meal.

Vibe: Modern, sophisticated, and perfect for a date night.

Extend the Evening with These Fun Berkeley Date Ideas

After an amazing dinner, there are plenty of fun, interesting, and unique places nearby to continue the night.

Catch a Movie at Rialto Cinemas Elmwood

If you’re in the mood for a cozy, intimate movie date, Rialto Cinemas Elmwood is the perfect spot. This charming, independent theater offers a mix of indie films, foreign films, and occasional classics. Its old-school ambiance sets the tone for a relaxed and romantic post-dinner experience, making it a great choice to round out your evening.

Vibe: Cozy, intimate, and perfect for a movie night.

Take a Sunset Walk at Lawrence Hall of Science (Seasonal)

For a unique and romantic experience, head over to Lawrence Hall of Science. This spot may be more family-focused during the day, but the outdoor terraces and stunning views of the Bay Area and Golden Gate Bridge are the perfect setting for a peaceful, romantic stroll—especially around sunset. Though it’s a bit further out, it’s still just a short drive from Shattuck Ave and offers one of the best scenic spots in Berkeley.

Vibe: Scenic, educational, and perfect for a sunset walk.

Whether you’re wrapping up a romantic dinner at Fish & Bird Izakaya, catching a flick, or enjoying a peaceful evening with a view, Berkeley has so much to offer for an unforgettable date night. With its mix of culture, food, and fun activities, you’re sure to create lasting memories with your special someone.

Pro Tip: If you're looking to make the evening even more special, why not grab a coffee or dessert at one of the nearby cafes after your movie or sunset walk? Berkeley is full of charming spots that are just waiting to be explored!

Happy dating!

Setting the Stage for Love in 2025: A Strategic Approach to Lasting Relationships

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

As we enter the final stretch of 2024, the idea of planning for a better future—personally, professionally, and romantically—becomes a natural focus. If you're a single, well-educated professional who values commitment but feels a bit lost or uncertain about your approach to dating, it's time to start thinking ahead. Finding true love, especially in our fast-paced, digital-first world, can feel overwhelming at times. But it doesn’t have to be.

Much like you would approach any long-term professional or personal goal, finding love in 2025 requires preparation, mindfulness, and intentional action. It’s not just about waiting for the right person to cross your path—it's about becoming the person you need to be to attract a fulfilling, long-lasting relationship. Here are key ways to prepare mentally, physically, and spiritually, as well as some insights grounded in research that can help guide your journey.

1. Mental Clarity: Reframe Your Approach to Dating

To prepare for love in 2025, start by adopting a mindset of openness and clarity. Many well-educated professionals may come to the dating scene with an analytical approach, which is a strength but can also be a barrier. If you've been single for a while, it’s easy to build mental walls—either by becoming overly cautious or even a bit skeptical. But here's where science can help.

Researchers at Harvard University have studied the impact of mindsets on relationship success. In a well-known 2014 study, psychologists found that people who approached dating with a growth mindset—believing that love and relationships can evolve and improve—tended to have better outcomes than those who adopted a more fixed mindset (i.e., “If it doesn’t work right away, it’s not meant to be”).

To prepare mentally for love, shift your perspective from searching for "the one" to investing in a process of mutual discovery. Acknowledge that dating is a journey where both parties evolve together. The goal isn't perfection but connection. Make sure your expectations are grounded in reality—no one is perfect, but the right partner will complement your growth.

2. Physical Health: Prioritize Self-Care

Physical well-being is often a neglected aspect of romantic preparation. Research in social psychology consistently finds that physical health has a profound effect on attraction, both on the part of the person seeking love and the one being pursued. In fact, studies have shown that people who are physically healthy tend to feel more confident and attract partners who value health and vitality.

Harvard Medical School’s research highlights the link between physical fitness and psychological well-being, noting that regular exercise improves mood, reduces stress, and boosts self-esteem—all key components of building healthy relationships. A consistent fitness routine or a commitment to eating better could improve your mental state, making you feel more energized and open to meeting new people.

Additionally, exercise has been proven to release dopamine, a "feel-good" neurotransmitter that can help elevate your mood and increase your general outlook on life. This positive energy is not just good for you—it’s also contagious. When you’re physically healthy and confident, you're more likely to attract the type of partner you want.

3. Spiritual Growth: Align with Your True Self

Love is not just about compatibility on a mental or physical level; it’s about spiritual alignment too. Whether or not you identify with a specific religion or spiritual practice, cultivating a deeper sense of self-awareness and inner peace is crucial to finding lasting love. Research from Yale University suggests that those who engage in practices like mindfulness or meditation tend to have higher levels of emotional intelligence and greater relationship satisfaction.

In fact, a study published in the "Journal of Social and Personal Relationships" found that mindfulness can significantly improve communication, empathy, and conflict resolution—all of which are vital for long-term commitment. Being spiritually grounded and emotionally self-aware also means you're better equipped to recognize a relationship that aligns with your true values and desires, as opposed to one that simply fills a temporary void.

Spiritual growth doesn’t require grand gestures—it can be as simple as taking quiet moments each day to reflect on your goals, your values, and your desires in a partner. Consider journaling about the kind of relationship you envision and what your ideal partnership looks like, not just in terms of appearance or status, but also emotional compatibility and shared values.

4. Geographical Considerations: The Right Environment Matters

When you’re ready to meet someone who aligns with your goals, being in the right place, both physically and socially, can make all the difference. Where you live plays a huge role in the type of people you meet and the opportunities for connection.

A 2019 study from the University of California, Berkeley, found that proximity and shared environments are among the biggest predictors of relationship success. This doesn’t just refer to proximity in physical space, but also shared interests and lifestyles. It’s important to position yourself in an environment where you’re more likely to meet like-minded individuals who share similar values and aspirations. If you’re living in a place where potential partners are focused more on casual dating or are not interested in commitment, you may need to think about whether a geographical shift is necessary.

Consider relocating or traveling to places that better align with your values and where the likelihood of meeting your ideal partner is higher. It’s not just about being in the right city, but also about engaging in the right activities that foster genuine connections—whether it’s joining intellectual meet-ups, volunteering, or simply expanding your social circles in places where people value relationships.

5. Fostering Patience: Setting Realistic Expectations for 2025

We live in an age of instant gratification, and the world of dating apps often perpetuates this mentality. But as you prepare for love in 2025, patience becomes one of your greatest assets. Research from the University of Chicago highlights that successful long-term relationships often take time to build. Couples who are more patient, and who invest time in getting to know one another deeply, report higher satisfaction levels in the long run.

Understand that the best relationships are often the ones that develop slowly over time—built on trust, mutual respect, and a deep understanding of each other's needs. In other words, love is not a sprint. It’s a marathon or maybe a 10K LOL. Set realistic expectations for 2025, knowing that meaningful connections take time to build. The key is being open to the journey, not rushing to the destination.

Conclusion: Ready, Set, Love

As you think about the year ahead, remember that the best preparation for finding love in 2025 involves cultivating the right mindset, taking care of your body, nurturing your spirit, and positioning yourself in an environment conducive to connection. The key to attracting a lasting, meaningful relationship lies not in a singular moment but in the deliberate work you do now to become the person who can engage fully with someone else.

By mentally, physically, and spiritually preparing yourself for the kind of relationship you truly desire, you’re not just waiting for love to come to you—you’re creating the right conditions to attract it, naturally. Start thinking about your love life in terms of preparation, patience, and intention, and 2025 could very well be the year that you meet the partner you’ve been waiting for.

Navigating the Art of Rejection with Grace: A Guide to Handling Post-Date Conversations

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

This week, I received an email from a client asking for advice on how to gracefully communicate disinterest after a date when she knows there's no potential for a future connection. She shared:

"How and when should I let someone know if I’m not interested in a future together? I don’t want to disappoint them, so I often avoid saying exactly what I feel. Sometimes, I need time to think it over, but I feel bad texting afterward to say I’m not interested, as it doesn’t feel personal. How should I approach this with honesty in the moment?"

My advice? It’s important to give both yourself and your date the space to reflect after the date before responding. A good rule of thumb is to wait until the next day—preferably midday—before reaching out. If your date texts you right after the evening and you know you’re not interested, it’s perfectly acceptable to take your time and respond the following day.

Delivering this kind of feedback in person at the end of the date can come across as abrupt and emotionally charged. It’s too immediate and doesn’t leave room for reflection. It’s like being hit with a cold splash of water. Instead, waiting until the next day to gently let your date know your feelings allows you both to digest the evening and process the experience.

If you’re uncomfortable with calling, a well-crafted text message in the early stages of dating is acceptable. However, if you’ve gone on multiple dates, an in-person conversation or phone call is the more considerate approach.

To make this process as kind and respectful as possible, consider following this simple template:

1. Begin with genuine compliments

Start by expressing appreciation for something positive about the date. This helps soften the message and ensures your date feels valued.

Examples:

  • "Thank you for picking such a unique dinner spot last night—I’d never been to that restaurant, and I loved discovering those amazing tapas!"

  • "I really appreciated your kindness throughout the evening. It’s rare these days to find someone who treats others with such respect and consideration."

  • "Your creativity is impressive. The fact that you sew your own clothes with such precision is truly remarkable—I haven’t met anyone with that kind of skill before."

  • "I was so impressed when you shared that you completed your Ph.D. while working full-time. That’s an incredible accomplishment."

  • "It was so inspiring to hear about your weekend volunteer work. Compassionate people like you are a rare find."

2. Gently communicate your feelings

Once you’ve expressed your gratitude, transition to your decision in a calm and thoughtful manner. Share that after reflecting on the date, you feel there isn’t enough long-term chemistry to pursue another meeting.

Example phrasing:
"After giving it some thought, I don’t feel the kind of connection I’m looking for long-term. I hope you understand."

3. Offer encouragement and goodwill

Close by wishing your date well, and emphasize that you believe they will find the right person in time.

Example:
"I have no doubt that someone as [compliment from above] will find the love they deserve. You’re a truly special person, and I’m sure there’s someone perfect for you out there."

By handling rejection in this way, you not only convey your message with clarity and respect, but you also leave the other person feeling appreciated and understood. This approach is much more considerate than ghosting or engaging in a prolonged texting dialogue that may lead someone on unnecessarily.

Dating isn’t always easy, especially when it comes to difficult conversations. But by navigating these moments with elegance, you set yourself apart. Not only will you make your date feel better about themselves, but you’ll also feel good about taking the high road and handling a challenging situation with grace.