DateSpot Interview for Matchmakers- Amy Andersen

Photo by: Annie Barnette

Interview By: Carla Swiryn , CEO & Founder of DateSpot

A Note from Amy Andersen: I was thrilled to reconnect with my esteemed colleague and dear friend, Carla Swiryn, for a written interview to shed light on the partnership between Linx Dating and DateSpot (DS).

With some of our clientele intersecting, and other potential clients clearly better suited to one of us, we've forged a harmonious referral relationship where Linx caters to the high end of the market as DateSpot offers matchmaking that is more accessible to the masses. Our collaboration thrives by ensuring that everyone can receive meticulous attention.

This interview delves into the inner workings of my business, sheds light on the dynamics of the matchmaking industry in general, reveals some of the keys to my own marriage success, and highlights numerous experiences I have had with singles navigating the dating landscape.

If you're interested in DateSpot's affordable, pay-per-match process, check it out here and add Amy at Linx as the referrer on signup.

“Ask anyone who is the most elite matchmaker in Northern California, and you will undoubtedly hear Amy’s name. Linx Dating's Founder, Amy Andersen (AA), has been matching high caliber, marriage-minded professionals for over twenty years (since 2003), with a focus on Silicon Valley, though she selectively takes on clients worldwide.

I am proud to say that Linx Dating (www.linxdating.com) was one of DateSpot’s first partners vetted and approved to access our candidate platform (to secure potential matches for their own database). In getting to know her over the years, it’s clear that through her friendly and classy charm, empathy, intuition, responsiveness, humor, and dedication, she has earned one of the highest reputations in the industry.

As the Founder of DateSpot (DS), I had the opportunity to ask her some questions to get to know more about her background, views, and ultra-successful business.

I decided to split her thoughtful answers into two parts - one blog post geared towards matchmakers and the other for singles.

I'm first sharing her answers geared towards matchmakers, so if you’re a professional in the industry or considering becoming one, perk up your ears and check out what she said…

DS: How did you enter the world of matchmaking and when did you know you could do this professionally?

AA: I was living in Silicon Valley in the height of the dot com era and was struck by how the men down in the Valley couldn’t find accessible, attractive, and extraordinary women, and how my female friends up in San Francisco couldn’t find a guy to commit. My idea literally came from pure observation about the dismal dating scene in Silicon Valley and a huge surplus of attractive brainy women in San Francisco.

I initially started matching these groups to each other for free and worked out of a Starbucks or Peets (whichever didn’t eventually kick me out) to save money, and eventually people wanted to pay to get more attention and better service. Then I knew I had a business. I had always loved putting people together and hosting little gatherings and Soirees but never thought I would actually start a matchmaking business until the opportunity in front of me was too good to be true.

DS: What advice do you have for aspiring matchmakers or people considering the occupation?

AA: This can be an extremely fun and rewarding business but also brutally tough to build, scale and differentiate yourself. You need to hugely patient, persistent, focused, and not easily discouraged. And you’d better love (mostly) what you do. Beyond this, you need to have a substantial network of singles already in place or ideas of how to generate a network. I started my business having grown up in the San Francisco Bay Area which helped a lot in the early days of building my network. You also better develop a very thick skin. I think a lot of people think this industry must be all “peaches and cream” working in such a happy business but the reality is we are dealing with extremely sensitive situations, matters of the heart, tough and demanding Clients and beyond this, running a business is really, really hard work. You need to have intuition, people skills, enjoy people of all walks of life and backgrounds, have sensitivities and compassion, not be judgmental, and beyond this some sort of business acumen.

‍DS: What lessons have you learned at Linx that could apply to any business owner?

AA: Start with a relatively narrow focus, super-serve your customers in that niche, and do that part extremely well. The key to success is thinking local versus global. Too many entrepreneurs start their business thinking about global expansion versus staying local and doing the best job you can do in your own market.

The growth will come organically from there. Also, keep all options open and pursue opportunities and relationships that you come across - you never know from where or when those breakthrough moments could come. Take meetings with all sorts of people, keep an open-mind, friendly attitude, and network. Have business cards on you.

There is something really nice about actually handing someone a card (more of an art then days) and taking the time to look at it and keep it in your rolodex of contacts.

DS: Maintaining confidentiality of course, can you share a story or scenario of one of the strangest requests or client searches?

AA: I have had some strange ones - one, in particular, was where a client was seeking a curvy, more voluptuous woman who was a graduate from one specific prestigious University. I am regularly asked by my clients to initially disclose information about them to their match that they might think would be hard to address themselves on a first date - that can be anything from a health condition to a strange preference. I get a lot of practice in the art of awkward conversations. I never judge anyone’s requests or preferences. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

DS: If you could do anything professionally other than matchmaking, what would it be?

AA: Oh I love this question! If it were based on pure passion, I might be a marine biologist, astronaut, dermatologist or do something in art like a crazy artist splashing paint on paint canvases blasting music with apprentices helping me. But as far as translating professional skills, I would probably be a natural in real estate, as I have a great network, and love sales, brokering deals, and designing spaces. I enjoy art, architecture, style, and creating a beautiful living space. I also love helping people achieve their dreams and goals.

DS: Why do you think you've been so successful?

AA: Incessant hard work, dedication and focus, a consistent and honest commitment to the brand that epitomizes me and my business and, perhaps most importantly, some really great luck along the way.

It’s hard for me to believe it’s been over 20 years that I have been running Linx Dating. To be honest, not a day has gone by in the last two decades that I am not thinking about my work. I’ve always had a fire in my belly as an entrepreneur and the flame has only intensified as my business has grown. To me each and every day is exciting. I wake up each morning grateful there is still a demand and thankful for my spectacular clients. I am excited to see how each and every day unfolds and the challenges that come with it. For me it’s still really fun and that’s what keeps me going!

‍DS: How do you think the matchmaking industry has evolved over the past 10 or 20 years?

AA: When I started my business in 2003, the notion of hiring a professional matchmaker definitely raised some eyebrows and was considered slightly taboo and maybe even a little controversial. It wasn’t for everyone and sometimes people back then assumed something was “wrong” with you if you needed to hire a matchmaker.

Fast forward some 20 years later - hiring a matchmaking has become very normalized and one could argue, en vogue. When I first started my business, there were a few key players in the space- mostly the big matchmaking services that were far more commercialized and not a lot of niche based matchmakers available. There were no apps when I started Linx and only a few dating websites like Yahoo Personals, Match, and eHarmony.

‍In the last 10 years, there have been hundreds of niche matchmakers opening shops all across the country and we have seen the rise of countless choices for dating apps. Even with sophisticated dating apps, I find a lot of singles experience real app fatigue are tired of the misrepresentations, the lack of privacy, and the poor odds. As such, I see that dating apps have reinforced the need for personalization and vetting and this is one of the many reasons the matchmaking industry has exploded with growth.

It’s an exciting time to be in the industry and has become a natural resource and obvious choice for many single men and women as compared to some 15-20 years ago.

‍DS: What are your current initiatives?

AA: A heavy focus on super-serving a smaller number of elite VIP clients. My business has evolved to primarily focus on a handful of very specialized, ultra intense VIP searches. It’s the most challenging work in the world in my humble opinion. It’s like having a puzzle and finding the missing piece in the puzzle for the search. My VIP clients basically have this incredible life with all the puzzle pieces lined up from years of hard work and so much success but the one missing piece is their match and life partner. It’s such an honor to get to figure out how to find that missing puzzle piece and when I figure it out for them and the piece fits so uniquely into that giant puzzle that represents my clients extraordinary life, a true miracle has happened. I love love and I love what I do so much!

Amy wanted to end with “Thank you for this opportunity to talk with your network about Linx and matchmaking. I am honored to have spoken to you all today.”

Spoken by a true gracious queen. Thank you, Amy! We look forward to sharing Part 2 for Singles soon!”

To follow DateSpot on Socials Visit:

Instagram @DateSpot

LinkedIn @DateSpot

A Day In The Life As A Matchmaker

My name is Amy Andersen I am the Founder and CEO of Linx Dating. I wake up around 6:30 am, and the first thing I do is drink coffee. It’s actually in my wedding vows that my husband brings me coffee in the morning. In our 15-year marriage, he’s pretty much never broken this vow- I must say it’s impressive. Then I get my kiddo's breakfast ready and quickly check my email and various messaging apps, including Signal, Proton Mail, and WhatsApp, to see if any high-profile or international clients have reached out overnight. After school drop off, I return home and do anywhere from 15-30 minutes of emails. 

My morning workout is a must I typically run 3 days a week, rain or shine. Other days I mix in gym sessions or neighborhood walks. I listen to all sorts of music on my runs, from hip hop and, don’t laugh- military boot camp marine sergeant recordings. Post-workout, I shower and whip up a nutritious green smoothie. I practice a relaxed form of intermittent fasting, refraining from eating until noon, as part of my disciplined routine.

Back at home, I shower up and make one of my insanely delish green smoothies loaded with organic spinach, blueberries, almond milk, and Live Pure super food smoothie cubes!  I also try to take my daily vitamins. I do a relaxed “my version” of intermittent fasting, do I try not to eat before 12 p.m..  If you haven’t noticed, I lead a pretty disciplined life. It’s a strategy that makes me successful. 

My office is about a 5 min drive from my home. I have optimized on purpose for a better quality of life and not spend unnecessary time on the road. If I have to commute to San Francisco from Silicon Valley for a client, I always have a driver so I can get work done on my laptop- plus I’m not someone who lives to drive. It’s a necessity but not a sport for me. 

My days are consumed by piling through an endless sea of emails. I get inbound inquiries on a daily basis from around the world of single men and women wanting to be matched. And as CEO of Linx, I always put myself in a prospect's shoes and ask myself, “What would it be like to email a dating service?”  Even if I can’t help someone, I always make a point to write them a personal email. It’s a highly personalized and heart-centric business, so it’s very important for me to not only be kind but empathetic and respond.

Beyond this, I am on the phone with my clients throughout the day, getting feedback from their respective dates and strategizing with them about getting to the next level in their personal lives (from exclusive to engagement or married)! 

I’m hydrating throughout the day- lots of water! I might be noshing on a salad throughout the day, fruit, another smoothie….or need a pick me up and grab an iced latte at Peets down the street! 

I might be on a Zoom with a prospect one afternoon or on with my social media team, mapping out our content or planning a VIP client social campaign. My team is constantly monitoring trends and what’s relevant, teaching me, and keeping me up to date on everything.  

I love slowing down with my family and going around the dinner table to discuss our days. It’s a moment during the day to be with one another, break bread, and catch up. I try to be home by 5 p.m. to make dinner for my family. I’m no chef, but I try to make healthy food. I’m vegetarian, and the rest of my family is not. This might mean a Door Dash salad for me and making pasta with Sautéed sausage and veg for them. I do a weekly menu on Sundays, but sometimes life gets crazy, and we need to adapt and be spontaneous. Once the family is off to bed, I catch up on emails for at least 1-2 hours every night. It’s also a time for me to match clients and think about “who” could be a fantastic fit with which client. I love how creative my job is!

Generally around 10 p.m. I will watch something brainless like Love Is Blind or The Golden Bachelor. It’s part of the job, right? I review my “To Do” List and Appts for the next day at the end of the day. I say some affirmations before bed and always think about my couples and clients. I literally visualize their happiness and success in the Matchmaking journey. I remind myself how grateful I am and so blessed to be celebrating my twentieth year in running Linx Dating. 

I am lights out at midnight and ready to go again the next day! 


Take a Chance on Love

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

I just had someone turn a potential match away because there was a 58 mile geographic divide.

Ok I kind of get it, but let’s look at the BIG picture.

That person some 58 miles away could very well be the love of your life.

You are willing to forgo meeting someone that could be your future someone because you need to drive an hour?

My parents met in San Francisco, a city they both happened to be visiting on their respective vacations.

My Dad met my Mom and fell head over heels in love with her.

He proposed NINE DAYS after knowing her. She accepted.

*Yet there was a twist to their love story*

He lived in Europe. She resided in Oregon. How could this work?

She had never been to Europe before.

But she knew he was her future.

So she packed her bags and boarded a plane and moved to be with the man who had proposed a week prior.

Here they are, married over 50 years later.

TAKE A CHANCE ON LOVE. Do not say NO to opportunities. Put yourself out there and be a bit more open-minded. You never know who you will meet when you open your heart and mind to the grand possibilities ahead.

The Importance of “Alone Time” in Relationships

By Dani Geary for Linx Dating

The concept of "alone time" within a relationship often sparks anxiety or concern but, in reality, it can be a cornerstone of maintaining a healthy, balanced connection with your partner. Love doesn't demand constant togetherness. Contrary to popular belief, carving out moments of solitude within a relationship is not a sign of detachment, but rather a contribution to the relationship’s strength, as it can encourage personal growth and help each person maintain independence.

Alone Time: A Vital Component of Relationship Wellness

Here are some specific reasons why alone time is an essential ingredient in healthy relationships.

1. Preserving Individual Identities   

Allowing space for alone time is a powerful means of protecting individual identities. Each partner brings unique qualities, interests, and passions to the relationship. Spending time apart facilitates personal exploration and ensures that these distinctive aspects continue to thrive.

2. Cultivating Independence

Independence is not a threat to a relationship; rather, it is the foundation of how a healthy partnership grows. Alone time provides an opportunity for self-reflection and the development of personal interests, promoting a sense of autonomy that enriches the individual and, by extension, the relationship.

3. Refreshed Connection

Absence truly can make the heart grow fonder. Taking time apart refreshes the connection between partners. It allows each individual to miss the other, fostering a renewed appreciation for shared moments and experiences.

Understanding the Fear of Alone Time

While the benefits of alone time are clear, many people shy away from it.  Why?  

1. Fear of Introspection

Alone time forces individuals to confront their thoughts and emotions, which can be a daunting prospect. However, this self-awareness is a powerful tool for personal growth. Embracing the discomfort of introspection can lead to increased self-understanding and emotional intelligence.

2. Loss of Independence

Some individuals fear that spending time alone may erode their sense of independence. It's crucial to recognize that maintaining independence within a relationship is not about isolation; rather, it's about honoring one's individuality. True interdependence thrives when both partners can stand strong as individuals.


Embracing Alone Time: Strategies for a Balanced Relationship

Now that we understand the importance of alone time and have addressed some common fears, let's explore some practical strategies for incorporating private time into a relationship:

1. Scheduled Solo Activities

Plan regular solo activities or hobbies that each partner can enjoy independently. This might include reading, pursuing a personal hobby, or simply taking a leisurely solo walk.

2. Communication and Boundaries   

Open communication is key. Discuss the importance of alone time with your partner, set boundaries, and establish mutual respect for each other's need for solitude. This ensures that both individuals feel understood and supported.

3. Solo Reflection Sessions

Schedule short periods of alone time for personal reflection. This can be as simple as enjoying a quiet cup of tea, journaling, or practicing mindfulness. These moments provide an opportunity to check in with oneself and cultivate a sense of inner peace.

In conclusion, the journey of love is a shared one, but it is equally essential to honor and nurture the self within that journey. Alone time is not a threat to a relationship; rather, it is a testament to the strength of the individuals involved. By embracing moments of solitude, confronting fears, and fostering personal growth, couples can build a relationship that thrives on the beautiful balance between togetherness and independence.


The Matchmaking Midas Touch

Over the past 20 years, Linx has positioned itself as the top global matchmaking firm by refusing to settle for anything less than unparalleled excellence. Amy Andersen founded the company with the mission to give high-caliber individuals a more private, premium, and high-yield alternative to dating on their own.

Linx prides itself on its stellar reputation… its membership has been built organically over 20 years by word-of-mouth recommendations and has grown into one of the most sought-after private networks of vetted single men and women in the world.

Locally, in Silicon Valley, Linx represents clients at tech companies including Apple, Meta, Amazon, Google, Netflix and recognizable venture capital firms such as Andreessen Horowitz, to name just a few. Linx Dating also represents select founders & CEOs, celebrities, prominent public figures, and members of high profile domestic and international families.

Linx’s matchmaking is tailor-made for people who have worked on themselves, are ready to make a long-term commitment and are clear on what they seek in a partner.  They are ready to jump two feet into the process and find it appealing that Linx is niche and works with only a select number of clients annually. If we were to drill down on the core “niche” of Linx, it would be elite, high-net-worth clientele, and other highly educated professionals who are commitment-minded. 

Our clientele demand privacy and discretion and recognize time as one of their most precious commodities.  This means that swiping on an app to find “the one” becomes arguably less appealing.